For the record, we do not believe in stereotypes. But many people do. One of the stereotypical beliefs is that women need their man to be emotionally available for them at all times. The belief also says that women keep their eyes out for all the signs of an emotionally unavailable man and ensure that they do not ever get romantically involved with anyone who displays any of these signs.
But there are all kinds of people. Humans, irrespective of gender, fall all over the emotional spectrum, from emotionally needy to completely unavailable. We are trying to help those women who do not want an emotionally unavailable man, or are struggling to get some expression and sentimental confirmation from someone who has completely shut down their emotional side.
But we may want to understand what emotional unavailability is!
Image source: Pinterest
Ladies! If he is not replying to your texts the minute you send them, he has more than one boys’ night a week, needs a little bit more space than you do, and forgets the anniversary of when you two held hands for the first time – he is not emotionally unavailable, he just has a life beyond your relationship.
But, on the contrary, if he is the kind who doesn’t really care about what you are feeling, doesn’t seem to be interested in what you are saying, and doesn’t make an effort to understand the gravity of the situations in your life, then he could definitely be emotionally unavailable.
Suggested read: 10 vital things to consider before dating emotionally unavailable men
There are all kinds of emotionally unavailable men. There are the ones who think that they are too much of a man to really be showing their emotions, there are others who cannot really think beyond what is going to happen between the sheets, and there are also those who are just more sentimentally shut down by nature.
If you are involved with an emotionally unavailable man, you probably are already getting the sense that he is more distant and harder to reach.
If you still haven’t sorted it out, then here are some unmistakable signs of an emotionally unavailable man.
1. He has reasons for everything!
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Everything he does, and the way he does it, is going to be backed by reason, even if it is wronging you, standing you up on a date, hurting your feelings, or anything else that is hurtful. He is going to try to reason it away through logic and practicality. There is one little, dark, dirty secret you need to know, girlfriend, the person who doesn’t understand or refuses emotion will always excel at logic, and you might find yourself struggling to respond to his reasoned arguments.
2. There are career plans, investment plans, but no plans for happiness in his life
When you see a man who seems to have it all figured out when it comes to his money and material possessions, but doesn’t have the slightest idea of what makes him happy or sad – take your cue – you are looking at an emotionally unavailable man.
He has no idea if he wants a partner; he laughs at the idea of even being romantically involved with someone, and deliberately mocks anyone who is considering marriage. You know what we are talking about.
3. He has just dated every girl he knows
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
This is a surefire sign of an emotionally unavailable person. He has had a string of affairs, and you are not going to be able to reach the end of it easily. The fact that he has been able to get over all of these affairs and not get really attached to any of them tells you that he had never really checked in emotionally with anyone!
4. Once the chase is over, so is their availability
We are not even talking about emotional availability, just their presence in your life. He has chased you, you have given in, and now the game is over. Sadly, he has won the game and now you haven’t heard too much from him in a few days or even weeks. You have given into an emotionally unavailable man and if you do not like the idea, now is the time to reconsider your relationship with him!
Suggested read: 10 unmistakable signs you’re being emotionally manipulated by your partner
5. You don’t GET to see his people; he doesn’t WANT to see yours
Well, you know you are dealing with an emotionally unavailable man when the important people in his life are all just images in your head. You have never met them, and you’re lucky if you have even spoken to them. He has a logical reason to give you every time you try to make an effort to be a little bit interested in the other people in his life.
It doesn’t end there. He expects you to keep it that way for him as well. He is not really up for meeting your family or friends. He knows that meeting the folks always means a deeper sense of connectivity, and he is never going to let that happen for himself.
6. He doesn’t get sick of mentioning the fact that he has huge baggage to carry!
Image source: Shutterstock
Now, this could be true or not. You really never know what people are made of and what has made them the way they are. But what you can always do is keep your eyes open. If he is only emphasizing his sentiments and baggage, and yours means nothing to him – then you are probably dealing with an emotionally unavailable man.
But if he is acknowledging your baggage, while still dealing with his own, then you have found a keeper!
7. You are about to have the space talk for the hundredth time now
You two got close, crushed on each other, and maybe hung out for a while – and you obviously started to think that this could turn into something good. Then is when an emotionally unavailable person is going to get away from you. He is going to give you the, “I need space” and “We need to have our individual lives” talk.
If you have heard enough of this to know where this conversation is going, then it is time to decide if you really want to be with him, because this is one the sure signs of an emotionally unavailable man.
8. He actually just doesn’t care at all
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Some men really don’t care about how anyone else feels or how they impact someone else. They can hurt someone and not feel anything about it at all. This means that they are never going to care too much about you either. Their human side is way too difficult to appeal to, and if you are going to be with this man, you will have to make a huge effort to ensure that you have a steady, stable, and happy relationship with him!
9. Ask him about hobbies. He will laugh in your face!
People who are emotionally loosened up enjoy their hobbies even after their teenage years. But this man, who is so uptight about his feelings and sentiments, and is never going to be able to commit even to an activity, is most likely to choose humor to let you know that he doesn’t care. He might or might not be ashamed of it, but there is a great chance that he is going to do it anyway. He’ll often use the ‘busy schedule’ excuse to explain this one away.
Suggested read: How to love an emotionally unavailable woman
10. Sex is important to him. Not the intimacy
Image source: Shutterstock
Well, if you indulge in a dirty chat with him, he is going to be up for it. If you consider trying some of the stuff that you spoke about during the chat – he will show up right then. Since emotionally unavailable people struggle with true sentimentality and intimacy, they use sex as a mechanism to cope with it. It is one of the biggest stress-busters after all!
But what happens after sex? If he is dating you, he might just turn around and sleep, or there is a good chance he is going to leave right after. He is not going to give you any intimacy whatsoever!
It is not wrong to be naturally emotionally unavailable. But a romantic and intimate relationship calls for emotional availability and assurance. If you are one of those women who needs it as part of a relationship, then you should really avoid the men who show the above mentioned signs, because they are the ones who might just change the way you look at relationships altogether – and that is not going to be in a pleasant manner!
Featured image source: Pinterest
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
