I suck at getting rid of things, let alone people.
But as someone who has been on that cleaning spree for closets and life more times than I care to admit, believe you me when I say cluttered closets are way better than a cluttered life can ever be.
Think about it- neither the teddy he won for you at the fair nor the dry-pressed rose from the first time he said ‘I love you’ can hurt as much as being on the emotional merry-go-round of being hurt by people you let in in your life only so they can return with promises of never repeating the same thing again- until they do and the ride begins all over again!
Such toxic relationships are nothing save emotional vampires that drain you of LIFE!
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And while I am definitely on the struggling end of choosing between giving people the nth chance for change and letting go altogether (what did I tell you in the first line?), I am beginning to accept that certain toxic relationships are better wiped ‘Monica clean’ from LIFE. After all, there’s no redeeming truth to be found under messy bedspreads and emptied tequila bottles, right?
So, here are the few toxic relationships that you MUST avoid, no matter what:
1. You are my puppet aka controlling relationship
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While it is nice to have someone lead the way when you feel lost, there’s no way a leash around your neck and a tug at it every now and then can feel good. Don’t believe me- watch your dog play without the leash and you’d know! If you are in a relationship run by one person alone, you are in for a world of pain. Nothing good comes from the heady feeling of being in ‘control’- save an even more lethal ‘addiction’ to control some more! Take my advice- RUN!
Suggested read: A controlling relationship is not good for a healthy and happy you
2. Liar, Liar, pants on fire aka the relationship of lies
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The people who can laugh and lie are the worst people to be with. When you end up being with a lying lover, you may feel frustrated at being trapped in a complex web of lies (big and small)- most of which you may have no tangible proof to call out. Such a situation can end up making you paranoid and push you over the edge to become that ‘insecure’ person who has to sneak through messages and mails to get some peace of mind (or not)!
3. Oh, that’s so bad <sob sob> aka the negative relationship
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Have you ever been around the always-negative ‘rondu-s’ who just cannot stop wallowing in self-pity and cribbing about how unfair their life is? Then, you know that the best solution, here, is to run for the mountains before they empty out the box of tissues and reach for your shirt sleeve for wiping that snot! After all, it is better they suck out the fun from their lives than drain all positivity from yours’!
4. Nope, not good enough aka the aiming for the ‘ideal’ relationship
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The important thing to remember when you are with a self-proclaimed perfectionist is that you shall never be good enough! So, make it easy for yourself- don’t be – drown out the dictates, for this person shall never find anything you say or do to be ‘right’- and hence, is so not the RIGHT person to be with! After all, the only standards you should be holding yourself to are yours’!
5. Won’t you do It for me aka the manipulative relationship
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If you can notice covert as well as overt attempts of manipulation vis-à-vis which your partner gets what he wants out of you, you are in one of the most toxic relationships of’em all. By using guilt tripping, threats, emotional manipulation, withdrawal, blame games and more, this person f*cks the s*it out of you! And this rather lethal situation may aggravate to a point where you may not know what’s going on anymore! Save yourself the pain!
6. It won’t happen again baby aka the cheating relationship
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Cheating is always a choice. ALWAYS. Need I say more?
7. You deserve this <slap> aka the abusive relationship
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Suggested read: How important is it to set boundaries in a controlling relationship?
Anyone who uses violence as a means to attain what he or she wants out of a relationship better had some cuffs on their hands! Physical abuse is unacceptable and anybody who doesn’t understand that isn’t worthy of any relationship at all.
8. How could you text him aka the insecure relationship
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Possessiveness can be sexy, at times. But a crazed obsession and no-bounds jealousy can quickly flare into an implosion. That’s the last thing you want in your relationship, right? So, kick the jealous lover right out of your life- for he will always find a way to blame you for setting up your girlfriend with the hot colleague in your office- coz duh uh, you have the hots for him! Run, good woman, run!
9. But where’s the bottle aka the relationship riddled with substance abuse
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Sure, we all have come to love beer taps! But if you struggle to find your partner sober on at least one of the weekends in the whole month, there might be zilch substance in your relationship! And maybe zilch sex too!
10. Not today, okay aka the relationship on the back burner
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I am a firm believer of the ‘you can always make time if you want to’ dictum for relationships. But if you are stuck in a relationship where the bond you share is always on the back-burner because your partner is ‘too busy’ with ‘this and that,’ it may be time you snap all ties and give him one less thing to put on his ‘busy schedule.’ And you can, then, find someone who isn’t ‘too busy’ for YOU ever!
Suggested read: Setting boundaries in an abusive relationship
Relationships are trial-and-errors from the get-go but some errors may come at too dear a price! Don’t let that happen to you- coz if your partner is bordering on any of the symptoms of these, it wouldn’t be long before he puts a hand on your cell phone or worse, you!
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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