10 Simple Yet Essential Romantic Needs Of A Man

by Sejal Parikh · July 3, 2015

Usually the question how to romance a man leaves many a woman tongue-tied. And THAT, in itself, is a huge feat. Really. 😛

Now, my problem lies in the ‘WHY.’ Of course, I do not imply that there’s one master-key that can unlock the doors to the guarded chambers of all men but just like there are things that work for us, women, there are things that can be done to make him feel those *feels* too! And not by sex! In my article on what romance means to a woman, I explained how there is no ‘one size fits all’ formula to nail the question. Similarly when we seek answers to how to romance a man, we aren’t really looking at an absolute, a definitive reply. All we are trying to do is probe into the list of things that can melt a guy into a puddle of man-mush. Yes, it CAN happen.

Suggested read: What is romance to a woman?

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Guys, unlike what they aver, love romance too. Not in the same way – NO – but they do. And they might often feel drained by the pressure of setting the R-pace in the relationship (it’s romance, dirty mind) and sadly so. After all, in our age and times (yep, contestable – but not the time, sweetums), if we feel super-iffy about popping the ‘why should boys have all the fun’ question, we could, perhaps, ask the opposite too.

Now, now, before all you girls lop my head right off so it does not churn out these ideas, let me tell you this. If you are honest, really honest, you will agree that we let the guys shoulder about 70% of the ‘romancing’ onus. Which is exactly why a question like how to romance a man leaves you in desperate need for a word, a syllable, an incoherent sound … anything! And now that I have proved my theory in a definite LHS=RHS pattern, let me make it up to you.

I have the ANSWER! The most effective technique to romance a man is to have a heart-made gesture roll right in front of him. This gesture needs to be tailor-made for your man. For example, if your guy is neck-deep in work, just drop a basket of snacks, energy drinks, and perhaps, a couple of love notes on his door. Send a text so he picks it up but fly before he invites you in. He needs to finish up and will appreciate how your literal delivery on ‘if you need anything, let me know’ made his day. After all, it, perhaps, made his work a little easier too!

So, if you need a li’l help to get your brain to get in idea-overflow mode, I have a few that will get you right there.

1. Indulge him

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Every guy has his own li’l somethings – that he may feel are too quirky to be shared. But if you are observant enough, you will notice how he has that one favorite jersey he loves to wear round-the-clock or loves those ice-popsicles he grew up having ever-so-often. And you know that tickets to the game he has scheduled all else around with, some ice-popsicles, and perhaps, you in the same jersey during and after – will win him all over again! See, that’s easy!

2. Whisk him away to a winsome weekend

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Getting your man far away from wonky work hours, woo-hoo weekends with his buds, and yes, the wi-fi is a pleasant change. What’s more is you can make it winsome by tailoring every single thing on the itinerary to suit his taste. If he loves the mountains, whisk him away to those misty surroundings and rove about in that part rear-baring pullover and nothing else. You’d be returning home with plenty more LOVE than you packed along. Trust me!

3. Don’t offer, just do it

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Most of the LOVE in ‘if you need something, let me know’ gets lost in translation. So the next time your guy is sick, is going through a rough time, is having a bad day at work, or simply is putoff by something, make him some soup, stock up his groceries, give him a foot-rub and a massage, or simply be there. If he wants to talk, he will. Listen. You will be amazed at how much these li’l things intensify your love for each other.

4. Rev up the HEAT

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Dial up the sexy quotient in your relationship by locking your gazes often, touching him ever-so-more or may be even grabbing his b*tt using some crude language. What – guys are different and this is guy-romantic! There is nothing that pleases a guy like an out-of-the-blue compliment, a kiss in a public place, raunchy texts, steamy flirtation, or simply a trip down the sexy memory lane. Action will follow. Until then, keep flaring up the flame.

5. Show him you CARE

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Checking in on him, complimenting him, getting him a thoughtful present, leaving him little notes on the mirror, cooking his favorite meal or simply snuggling up with him on a winter morning are all things that make him feel appreciated, valued, cherished, and cared for. Just like we like to be told how much we mean to them, they like to be ‘shown’ how much they mean to us. Don’t lax on this one. This is just one tip on how to romance a man.

6. Surprise him, often

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Tickets to his favorite band’s concert, a binge-watch marathon of his favorite movies, showing up with food from his favorite joint, a surprise delivery package at his workplace or a birthday bonanza (and think BOLD) are all good ways of inching closer and closer to your man. Whether you have been married three years or thirty, whether you have just begun to date or have been at it for three months, you never want to dial the surprise quotient down.

7. Even out his ME-time and WE-time zones

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A man is very much different from a woman and he needs to have time off – to start to miss you. Yep, men are wired differently. So, give him a night with his boys, ask him to take a trip even. If he wants to spend some time by himself, let him. Do not poke and pester him with unnecessary questions, coz if he answers ‘nothing’ in response to ‘what’s wrong,’ it most definitely means NOTHING. Repeat – men are DIFFERENT. If he wants to come around and talk, he will. There is something appealing about a woman who preserves her own space, allows her man his, and makes the moments together unforgettable.

8. Do it, do it, do it

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And here I mean IT. Get down and dirty. Pretty much nothing beats a ravenous romp. Wake him up naked – he will see you naked in the morning light and yes, will want MORE. Cook naked, perhaps spend a day being naked around each other. When you have forged a sense of emotional intimacy that is only intensified by sex, go all the way in. Nothing beats being so comfortable around each other – in all the raw, naked vulnerability.

9. Turn the tables

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I am the last person on earth who believes in conventional gender roles. But even so, there are many things that your man is taking care of. Swap roles for a while – and I don’t just mean in the bedroom. Book a mini-moon with your husband, and surprise him. Or call in your boyfriend’s best buds from college for a reunion and yell SURPRISE. Tell him you will take care of the bills for once or simply, take on daily activities like walking the dog, or well, arranging his sock-drawer (it may drive you nuts, but do it). Such little things go a long way in cementing your bond.

Suggested read: How to romance a woman

10. Tell him you love him

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Coz what can beat this. Speak those magical words ever-so-often and show that you mean them too. It does not have to be in sweeping strokes of magical or movie-romance but can even be weaved out of the ordinary. That’s the charm of love.

And just like that, never again will you be tongue tied when asked about how to romance a man. Of course, you have me to thank – for he will have fallen in love with you a little more and would be carrying that warm, fuzzy giddiness (along with you) in his heart, all the way home.

You are most welcome.