Relationships are complicated. We’ve all faced it — everything else is going well, we’re happy, but there’s one thing that’s been bugging us and we can’t seem to fix the problem.
It can be a little disconcerting when your new relationship is going well, but there hasn’t been any initiation of physical intimacy from the person you’re dating. I mean, no one wants to feel like they’re the only one interested in a fledging relationship. And if the woman you’re dating doesn’t even kiss you, it can be hard not to feel that way. But you shouldn’t! Give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s probably not personal. There could be a host of factors responsible for her reluctance to initiate physical intimacy. She might be a really shy person; she might be bad at reading body language so she didn’t even understand that you want to take the relationship to the next level. Maybe she’s had bad experiences in the past. Any way you look at it, you shouldn’t feel that it’s your fault. All you can do is help her become more comfortable with the waters she’s treading.
Suggested read: All the different types of kisses and what they actually mean
Here are 10 great tips on how to get your girlfriend to kiss you. She’ll be fine with taking the first step in no time.
1. Make it evident that you’re interested
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Let her know that you want her! She’s into you, that’s why she’s dating you. So make sure she knows that you really like her too. Play flirty games with her: staring into your partner’s eyes or staring at her lips might seem cliché, but it works. And be playful and lovable. It’s very attractive when a guy knows how to shed his inhibitions and be silly and have fun. Serious and gruff might be your persona, but sometimes you should let go for your girlfriend’s sake. Sometimes being the most obvious is the right course of action.
2. But don’t make her uncomfortable
You have to know the right timing to initiate something. You don’t want to come off as aggressive or pushy, do you? Of course not. You want the kiss to be enjoyed mutually. Allow some time to pass if you think that’s needed, and let it happen on its own. Don’t force it. It’s important that she’s comfortable with you and everything that happens in the relationship, or it won’t work out well. Don’t overdo it, or you might come across as pushy. And don’t take it personally if she asks you to back off a little – subtly or to your face! She might need some more time to come to terms with the physical aspect of the relationship. Respect that, and she’ll adore you for it.
3. Show her affection
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Girls love a good cuddle. It’s a foolproof idea if your relationship is balanced: you show her affection, and she reciprocates. As simple as that! When you watch a movie (maybe a cheesy romantic one to help with the overall ambiance) together, put your arm around her shoulder and snuggle up. Greet her with a tiny kiss — on her cheek or forehead, if she’s not comfortable with lip-to-lip contact yet — whenever you meet her. Hold her hand when you’re out. She’ll love it. Physical intimacy can be a slow and beautiful build up.
4. Compliment her
Make it your mission to make her feel good about herself when you’re together. Now, we’re not talking flattery. Small little compliments are enough. They show that you’re paying attention, that she means something to you. If you tell her that her new dress suits her really well, it’s not just something nice to say about her looks or choice of clothing, it means that you paid enough attention to notice that she bought a new one. You don’t need to be flowery, even something simple like, “You have beautiful eyes,” or, “I love your dedication towards anything you do,” does the job. You don’t need to be dishonest: just vocalize whatever makes you happy about her. She might thank you with a kiss.
Suggested read: 35 aww-worthy quotes about kissing that will melt your heart!
5. Pamper her
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If you’re wondering how to get your girlfriend to kiss you, this is what will work. Make her feel really, really special. She’ll appreciate it immensely, and recognize how great you are. If she knows that she’s your #1 priority, she’ll be happy and relaxed. You don’t have to plan grand gestures by shelling out insane amounts of money; simple things are enough. Help her when she’s struggling with something. Give her a massage when she’s tired. Buy her a small token to show you’re thinking of her. Send her a text in the middle of the day saying you miss her. She’ll feel incredibly loved, and will be much more likely to kiss you. But be sure that you’re doing all this out of genuine affection and not to get in her pants.
6. Be a good boyfriend
You should be the guy she wants to show affection to. That can only happen if you’re a good, understanding boyfriend. To ensure that you have a stress-free relationship, try your best to be as mentally healthy as possible. Level headed thinking is very attractive! Don’t worry about things too much. They’ll work themselves out. Just enjoy where you and your girlfriend are going as a couple. Go the extra mile, and see how well that works. Being a gentleman definitely pays off.
7. Spend quality time together
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Quality alone time, mind you. This is very important. There’s no point in dating someone if you don’t spend time together comfortably. The journey is exciting! Enjoy it. This is the time to get to know each other. In the early stages of the relationship, you should be meeting often — whether you go out or stay in is up to you. Casually touching her arm or shoulder sends the message, and brings you closer too. If she’s shy, she’ll come out of her shell soon as you become an unwavering fixture in her life that she can lean on. Engineer situations where you can be alone with her, and your chances increase exponentially. Basically, create as many opportunities as possible.
8. Understand her needs
Yep! Find a balance between what you want and what she does. Be sincere about your feelings, but don’t get too aggressive. You don’t want to intimidate her. Pay attention to her body language (you might be surprised to note that she’s very open to kissing or being kissed even though she isn’t saying it through her words), and how she acts. If she’s leaning against you, or snuggling up to you, she might want to be kissed. Don’t play games and hold out just because you want her to initiate; she might not be ready for that. Understand what she’s going through, and be emotionally available. And there’s no need to be nervous. You got this.
9. Brush your teeth
And don’t forget to use mouthwash. Flossing would be good, too. Basically, practice really good hygiene. It might sound like a very obvious thing to say, but if you want your girlfriend to kiss you, it’s essential to analyze whether you’re desirable. No one enjoys sharing a smelly mouth. So do laundry regularly and wear those clean clothes, be thorough with your personal hygiene, and wear a nice smelling cologne or perfume (don’t forget to make sure that she thinks it smells nice). Try your best to look sharp and put together, and you might see that it makes a huge difference.
Suggested read: 16 secrets to having the most memorable first kiss
10. Kiss her yourself!
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The best way to get your girlfriend to kiss you is to (newsflash!) kiss her yourself. If she’s hesitating but it’s obvious that she wants intimacy, go on, kiss her. Her enthusiasm will probably surprise you. And both of you will be happy. For extra points, you could follow a predictable romantic scenario. Try to recreate the kissing scene from her favorite book or movie. She’ll love you for it and remember it forever as a fairy tale moment come to life. Or, you could always dance together, which is a perfect opportunity to transition into a kiss — you’re already in each other’s arms, after all. Revisiting your teenage days when you fumbled through your first foray into kissing in a darkened movie hall would be a nostalgic and fun experience too. You’d know best. The trick is to plan something special.
We hope these tips on how to get your girlfriend to kiss you helped you. Don’t be intimidated by your situation: concentrate on building a good relationship with her, and everything else should come easy. She’ll plant a big ol’ kiss on you very soon!
Happy kissing! 😉
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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