Being in a relationship is a beautiful feeling. Having someone to share your joys and fears with and having someone to cuddle and call your own should make you happy and contented and joyful. However, there comes a time in every relationship where you re-evaluate the status quo between you and your partner, and the relationship that you actually share, which might have gotten buried under the sweet nothings and the habits that you develop during the course of your being together.
A wakeup call arrives all of a sudden, which makes you realize certain things about your relationship, which you previously may not have noticed because you were blinded by your love for your partner and might even have gotten a little carried away with your emotions. These wakeup calls are also important because they determine the future of your relationship, because you see it in a completely new life. Such wakeup calls can be distressing and life changing to say the least, but at the end of the day, it is like seeing clearly after travelling through mist and cloud and fog, and even though what you see might not be very pleasant, it nonetheless makes you feel better in the long run, and helps you make the right decisions, which you otherwise would not have made in excitement of your emotions.
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Here are 10 wakeup calls which will help you see your relationship clearly.
1. The friendzone wake up call
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This is a wakeup call that you are likely to get when you are not exactly in a relationship with a person, but you spend a lot of time together, and you share pretty much everything, and everything else you do makes you feel as if you were in a relationship, but you actually aren’t. The wakeup call arrives either when the person you think you are in a relationship with (or at least you think you’re headed in that direction) turns up with an actual partner and you are the first one to know because you realize you are the best friend. The worst possible thing you can do is try to break them up or feel like you have been victimized, because honestly, you should have cleared it out in the first place, tbh.
2. The toxic relationship wakeup call
There comes a time in your relationship when you realize that it is actually toxic and anti-conducive to your health, which you had failed to realize because you were way too emotionally invested in your relationship. Some signs that your relationship is toxic include your partner putting you down in front of other people, making fun of you, not acknowledging your problems, refusing to admit anything is their fault, etc. When such behaviour goes out of hand, you know something is wrong. These are instances where you have to put your foot down and talk it out with your partner, something you wouldn’t even imagine doing before life gave you this wakeup call.
3. The infidelity wakeup call
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Infidelity and cheating is one of the biggest red flags in your relationship. However, it is also a major wakeup call because you realize that everything is not all roses and rainbows in your relationship. Something must have been terribly wrong in your relationship for your partner to go cheat on you. Your wakeup call may even come when you cheat, or feel the need to cheat on your partner. This is the time to re-evaluate everything that went wrong and decide once and for all, after consultation with your partner, about whether you want to continue in the relationship or not.
4. The losing friends wakeup call
There may be a time when you suddenly realize that you have lost all, or most, of your friends because of your relationship. Sometimes, you may want to seek out a friend and not a lover to talk to about your problems, which is when you might realize that you have none of the former left. This may be a sign that your partner is isolating you from your social circle and nothing about that is a good thing. In your bid to be in the perfect relationship, you may have neglected your friends, or your partner had some hand in doing so, but either way, choosing one over the other is not an option.
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5. The constant third-wheel wakeup call
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Do you find yourself seeking out another person when you are going out with your partner or do you find a third-wheel present automatically every time you go out on a date? Initially, your passion may prevent you from seeing anything wrong in the situation, but you then realize that the third wheeling friend almost like a crutch for your handicapped relationship, because you two are both consciously or unconsciously afraid or unable to be with each other.
6. The temporary breakup
A temporary breakup can be a sudden wakeup call, which makes you realize and re-evaluate a lot of things in life. A temporary breakup is even more of a shock because you were under the impression everything was absolutely perfect and just how it is supposed to be, which is when you realize that your partner doesn’t really want to be with you. Even though you get back together you do so in a complete different disposition and you progress very differently in your relationship.
7. The violent wakeup call
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Physical violence too can be quite a wakeup call when you are in a relationship with a person you think is nothing short of perfect. After you near the end of your honeymoon phase, problems and character traits start emerging, which was previously absent because the initial fascination with your partner begins to fade. When you start dealing with problems and you see physical violence becoming a regular part of your equation, you know something is wrong, and you need to change certain things about your relationship.
8. The financial wakeup call
When you are in a loving relationship with a person, things like money and expenditure don’t play an important part, at least not during the start, where you are out to impress the other and leave no expenses spared to see them happy. However, if this is a trend that keeps on happening way into your relationship where you keep on spending, you might suddenly realize that your relationship is resulting in an abnormal drain in your finances, to the point of a crisis. This is when you determine whether you want to continue with the person, talk to them about the problem and figure out a solution, or leave them completely because of their materialistic demands.
9. The close call
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Encounter with a life threatening situation, or even a disease that either you or your partner has been diagnosed with can be a major wakeup call for the both of you. The possibility of death or the thought of not being with each other or having lesser time than what you thought you had can make you see your relationship with the person you love in a completely new light, which is when you have to make certain changes in the way you behave with each other. This might result in positive or negative consequences, and this is the point in your relationship where you question and ask yourself how much you love your partner, and whether you are willing to love them unconditionally, no matter how much time either of you have left.
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10. Silence can be a great wakeup call
Even though life has a tendency to shove these wakeup calls in your faces, you tend to miss them and get taken in by the myths that you make up inside your head regarding your relationship. One of those wakeup calls includes silences- and long ones. A lack of talking with each other and verbal communication may not always mean you have become comfortable with each other and don’t need to talk all the time. It may also mean that you have lost the ability to speak to each other freely and there is a lack of open and free sharing of feelings, which can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunication. You either have to talk to your partner about why you have ceased talking, or find a way to revive the spark that is obviously missing, in order to save the relationship that you thought was alright, all this while.
One thing that you have to remember is that a wakeup call does not automatically imply that something is irreparably wrong with you or your partner, meaning you have to break up immediately. Instead of trying to break your relationship, you can try to make it from scratch together with your partner after you have talked it out with them. This joint effort will also act as a revitalizing element in your relationship, whereby you can function together, not motivated by blind passion, but true, genuine, clear-headed love.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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