Love has become transactional in the past few years, with people falling in and out of love as easily as changing their clothes. Granted that relationships are tough, that they need constant care, affection, and effort to make them work. But if there’s enough love and affection and respect, you can try and salvage any relationship, however hopeless it might seem.
But before you do that, you need to acknowledge the fact that you might have fallen out of love with your partner. And once you do that, you need to ask yourself if you’re willing to put in effort to make it work, or just call it quits. Remember, this is not an easy decision to make, no matter how long or short a time you’ve been in the relationship. Once you do decide to make an effort, you have to leave no stone unturned in trying to learn how to fall back in love again with your partner.
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Every relationship has its own set of ups and downs, good days and bad days. It takes compromise, serious efforts, hard work, and a ton of patience to make any relationship last. But if you want to give your relationship another serious shot before throwing in the towel, then this is perhaps the best time to think about what went wrong, where, and why. Once you’ve tried to figure these out, you will be on a better footing to learn how you want to fall back in love with your partner.
If you and your partner are on the same page and want to save your relationship, know how to fall back in love with your partner all over again, right here!
1. What do you need?
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Communication is one of the first things that becomes a casualty when a relationship goes south. But when you’re trying to rekindle the spark in an almost-dying relationship, you need to strengthen communication first and foremost. Tell your partner what you need from them as well as from your relationship. Often, silly, easily resolvable misunderstandings lead you to the precipice.
When you tell your partner exactly what your needs are, then you’re completely honest with them, and have laid bare what you’re looking for from them. This way, they can’t make any excuses for not putting in effort to make it work. However, don’t ever expect your partner to be a mind reader, because they’re as human as you, and they’re bound to make mistakes, just like you. Just open your mouth and tell them what you want.
2. What does your partner need?
Communication is a two-way street. Once you’ve told them what you need from them and the relationship, listen to what they want and need from you. If they’re reticent to express their needs, explain it to them that talking about it is the only way to move forward from the precipice your relationship is currently straddling. No matter their needs are emotional, or physical, or even intellectual, try and take it in the right tone. Be receptive of what they’re saying, without going on the defensive or shut them out.
This understanding of mutual needs and wants isn’t going to happen in one sitting or one day. It can take a while before you’re both aware of what the other person wants and needs from the relationship. Of course, there are going to be times when you both talk, where you realize what you had been doing wrong, or how you had hurt them. This is going to be tough, no doubt. But if you don’t communicate with each other honestly, then you won’t be able to save your relationship from falling apart.
3. Are you receptive to your partner’s needs?
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When you spell out your own needs, you think they’re perfectly acceptable to expect it from them. However, when they state their needs, you might think that they’re being unreasonable or are asking too much of you. The foremost thing to keep in mind when this happens is that while it’s easy to see faults in another person, it’s far more challenging to see them in yourself.
So how do you avoid this? By keeping an open mind, by being sensitive towards your partner, and by working together to make it work. At the end of the day, whether your needs are greater or your partner’s, you’re both a team, that needs to work smoothly, to make the relationship work. You both need to figure out when you need to put yourself first, and when you need to put the relationship first. That’s when you’ll have a healthy, functional, and lasting relationship.
4. Are you positive?
The moment you realize that you might not be in love with your partner anymore can be quite shocking as well as eye-opening. It’s very easy to fall into a pit of despair and negativity that your relationship is doomed. That you can’t do anything but throw in the towel and move on. That all your effort and love and time and energy has gone down the drain.
However, if you do want to keep your relationship afloat and drag it away from the precipice, then you need to keep negativity and despair at bay. You need to start thinking positively, so that you can keep at it to make it work.
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5. Do you talk about the future?
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What is the world standing on? HOPE. And you have hope when you see yourself with your partner, well into the unknown future. Although it’s unknown, the idea of spending your life with them, making plans about it, and feeling excited about it, are bound to bring you both closer together.
This promise of the future gives you both a common goal to work towards, have a clear idea of what you both want, and start imagining life together, even years from now. These conversations need to be about big, impactful, and concrete things in life, rather than vague, someday-maybe kind of things. These are bound to make your relationship stronger than before.
6. Are you making time for each other?
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When learning how to fall back in love with your partner, it’s not just enough to learn and acknowledge each other’s needs, but to actually make time in your busy life to spend it with your partner. Spending time with each other doing things you love is essential if you want to make your relationship work.
And not just spending time, but appreciating the little things, talking and expressing what you’re feeling, having fun with each other, actively trying to enjoy doing things together, and to keep at it when it comes to getting to know each other. It is said that no matter how long you’ve known a person, there are always facets to their personality that you can learn, pretty much every day. If this means setting aside a day of the week for date nights, where you do something different and exciting, or even mundane and regular, do it.
7. Are you making an effort?
It’s easy to say that you’re putting in effort to make your relationship work, than to actually make the effort. Just because you have a partner, doesn’t mean you should get complacent and get comfortable and stop paying attention. Whether it’s putting in effort into your appearance – whether it’s putting on makeup or trying to become fit, or showing your partner how much you appreciate what they do for you on a daily basis, do it. Each and every one of these seemingly small things matter in the long run.
8. How intimate are you?
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Intimacy is almost always equated with sex. But it’s so much more than that. Physical intimacy includes holding hands, kissing, cuddling, hugging, and even touching simply. Showing physical affection to your partner reinforces that you’ve not lost that spark yet, and it is bound to make you feel closer. Yes, sex is part of being physically intimate with your partner, and it helps a great deal in dragging your relationship from the precipice as well. It allows you to connect on a much deeper level, as a couple.
Emotional intimacy, on the other hand, is opening up to each other about your thoughts, ideas, feelings, and emotions. Yes, it’s basically being vulnerable with your partner, but it’s okay. When you open up in such a deep level, it’s bound to make you feel closer to each other. It also helps you appreciate your partner all that more, having understood their perspectives and thoughts better.
9. Are you open to trying new things?
You’ve been doing things the same way, since you probably got together with your partner. But they haven’t all worked as you thought they would, because if they had, you wouldn’t have been in this position. So you need to be open to trying new things, doing things differently, and experimenting when it comes to your partner and your relationship. Whether it’s something new in the bedroom, or changing the way you talk to them, do it; give it a shot. You never know what will work and what won’t, unless you try.
Another thing to keep in mind is to try new things as a couple. Keep your relationship fresh by doing fun things together. Doing so helps you remind each other why you became a couple in the first place. It’s bound to put you on the right track to save your relationship.
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10. Are you kind and patient?
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With yourself as well as your partner? Remember, both of you are in this together, and you need to work through the tough times, as much as you love and float through the good times. Since you both want to make it work, you need loads of patience and kindness to get through it in one piece.
If your relationship has hit a rocky patch, it can rock you to your core. It can leave you unbalanced, if not unnerved. However, if you’re keen on making it work, then follow these tips above that tell you all you need to know about how to fall back in love with your partner, and it should put you on the right track. If you think your relationship is worth fighting for, worth giving it your all, then do it. Don’t hold back; life is too short to fill it with regrets. Good luck saving your relationship.
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