I pity men, sometimes, for being so often scoffed at for philandering and being phony in a relationship. But some women drum up their own shenanigans too. You have to be smart enough to smell the surest signs she is using you, before you burn a hole in your pocket, not to mention your heart.
Understanding a woman can be really difficult. Freud couldn’t do it, so what makes you think you can? Some of these selfish females may very well emotionally manipulate you and even exploit you for perks. Even though she has duped you into believing that she is the girl of your dreams, she is quite certainly going to give away the sham through some unintentional signs that you have to look out for.
Suggested read: All you need to know about on-again off-again relationships
We, here, are warning you about 10 signs she is using you. Don’t settle for them. You deserve better!
1. She behaves like Summer from 500 Days of Summer
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If your lady friend tells you that you guys are ‘‘just good friends’’ every now and then, you should brace yourself to face the fact that she is not in love with you. She will hug you, snuggle and cuddle up to you, but the very next moment shove you away and share her concerns about your friendship. She will tell you about her hesitations with everything happening too quickly. She will make it a point to let you know at every drop of a hat that she is still not prepared to commit to something ‘real,’ even if you are practically a couple! Your adoration, my friend, is being used to her benefit.
2. “Knight in Shining Armor or Man Friday?”
In case you are chivalrous, you have had it when it comes to a woman like this. She will be the damsel in distress all the time! Her phone has to be recharged every now and then, although she only gives you missed calls. You suddenly become her new best friend when her girlfriends ditch her on a shopping plan. You are asked to whitewash for her when her parents inquire, although you have no idea what you are covering up for. You also have to become your lady’s chauffeur, ignoring whatever may have been on your to-do list, never mind the want-to-do list.
3. “How much do you make?”
She needs to know how much money you make to analyze whether you can keep her happy or not. She always uses ‘our future’ to put a whopping heap of responsibilities on your shoulders; while she, on the contrary, is allowed to splurge the entire dough, buying superfluous things and live lavishly. She is a woman who is shrewdly handling you into slogging like an a$$ to mollify her whims and fancies. And this is just one of the signs she is using you.
4. “Why don’t you listen to me?”
It is always about her, her, and her. She calls you up regardless of the time or considering what you might be doing (because you, buddy, basically don’t count in this equation). She will order you to show up at her doorstep just because she is bored, scared, or not sleepy. She is always throwing her weight around, but if you fall short at the slightest, all hell breaks loose. She knows she has you wrapped around her little finger, and treats that to her utmost advantage. Do you really want to be this guy?
5. She needs to vent… all the time
Do all your conversations revolve around her life and her problems? When it comes to your issues or small little things you want to share with her, does she snap back with “let’s talk about something else” or “forget about that, it’s no big deal”? You do not exist in this ‘we.’ A girl who simply wishes to blabber her heart out and feel great about her own self isn’t in a million years the girl of your dreams. This is a sure sign your girlfriend is using you as a stand-in pastor to confess her sins to. In love, people tend to share their problems and miseries, but it has to be a two-way street. Only if she lends you a patient ear when you are down or even elated, do you know you actually have an emotional connection.
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6. “Best friends!”
You started off as an agony aunt to this poor soul and God bless you, you fell in love with her. She likes hanging out with you, watching movies, lunching, and all – you spend more time with her than her so-called boyfriend does. It is obvious to everyone that there is something going on between the two of you, but as soon as you advance the idea of commitment to her, she reminds you that she is in a relationship and cannot even think of leaving her ‘never available’ boyfriend. She is trying to maintain a status quo, not trying to change the situation. She is playing both guys, and maybe even more!
7. “I need my space!”
She hangs on to you for a couple of days, then treats you like just another guy. Is she trying to draw your attention and spice things up or driving you away? Paradoxically, every time she closes her eyes to you or shoves you away, you find yourself turned on. On the contrary, she might be just weighing her options and having flings with other guys while you are going head over heels for this cheat. Isn’t it plain to see?
8. You are invisible to others in her life
Her friends have no idea of your existence on earth, let alone in their friend’s life. She always avoids introducing you to her best friends or social circle. But if ever she does have to take you with her, you are condemned to feel completely lost because no one shows any interest in you, or knows or bothers to know your name. Once she is with her friends, you feel invisible because she doesn’t pay an iota of attention to you or try to make you feel at ease. She doesn’t even introduce you as her boyfriend and expects you to maintain the same hush-hush. Rather than being figuratively invisible, I suggest that you vanish from her life!
9. She blows hot and cold
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She enters your life, turns it topsy-turvy, and conveniently leaves you at the hint of something rosier. You are devastated and heartbroken, quite naturally, but ‘with a little help from your friends’ bring your life back to normal. The door rings and she’s back with a bang! Is she your Hurricane Sandy? If so, she is utterly confused, egotistical, maybe even narcissistic, and definitely not meant for you.
10. “I am complicated!”
Typically, girls who are using men are confused about what they want – outside of what she is using you for. She needs to be loved around the clock, and how does she expect you to exhibit this love? By telling her day in, day out that the previous messed up relationships weren’t her fault, and the guy hadn’t deserved the kind of beautiful person that she is. All your energy will go into cheering and encouraging this wounded clutter of a woman. Beyond emotional support, she also wants material manifestations of your love. Furthermore, ironic as it is, she will even hug you warmly once in a while to express how grateful she is for your ‘friendliness.’ Wake up – now – and read the writing on the wall, before it’s too late!
Suggested read: 10 simple things men want in a relationship
She may have magnificently assured you that she’s totally into you, but she is just using you for her own gains. Sooner or later, she’s going to lay her cards on the table and that’s going to seriously break you. You will be happier without such an egotistical person in your life.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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