When you meet a potential partner on a date, what is the first thing you look for besides their outward appearance? Their demeanor, right? And there’s nothing sexier than a person who exudes confidence and is not afraid to show it. Mind, do not mistake confidence with arrogance or cockiness. Although there’s a very thin line between them, confidence is attractive while the other two aren’t. You need to know to differentiate the two. (That’s fodder for another post, yeah?)
Confidence is key when it comes to most things in life – whether it’s your dream job or having a successful date with your dream person. Remember, confidence doesn’t mean you have to be loud or too out there, but comfortable in your own skin, which the other person picks up on.
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The thing about confidence is that you can certainly own it, even if you’re not fully secure about yourself, but that’s okay. If you want to appear confident on a date, or anywhere else for that matter, you need to know how to walk, how to talk, how to carry yourself, and certain other aspects of your personality. In essence, you need to master certain body language cues that make you seem confident, even if you’re quaking inside!
Suggested read: 12 foolproof tips on how to be confident on a date
Let’s take a look at what body language cues you can adopt to seem more confident than you actually are (which is totally okay!).
First, the dos.
1. Do keep your head up
Walk with your head held high. It’s one of the body language cues that showe people around you that you’re ready to take on anything that comes your way, that you’re ready to engage, and are not shy or hiding your face. This also lets people know that you aren’t afraid to look at people and in turn, unafraid of letting people see you. This might seem like a trivial thing, but trust us, it exudes confidence like no other.
2. Do make eye contact
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Now that you’ve mastered the art of walking with your head held high, take the next step in exuding confidence by making eye contact when you talk to someone. Eye contact is very vital to many of our social interactions. It shows how willing you are engage with other people and that you’re definitely up for anything that comes your way – in essence, it shows your confidence. Oftentimes, people who’re trying to hide something or those who have low self-confidence are loath to make eye contact besides the initial meeting of the gazes. They pull their gaze away, since it might make them uncomfortable, or don’t know how to hold someone’s gaze without coming off as a creep. Don’t do that, even if every instinct is telling you to pull your gaze away.
3. Do keep a smile on your face
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A smile is the shortest distance between two people, and this is true. Just try it once, when you’re alone and are riding the subway or are passing a group of people on the street. See if they don’t smile back at you. Okay, may be you’ll be met with perplexed stares, but eventually, they will crack a smile. A smile, a genuine one, puts people at ease, and draws people in. It makes you seem approachable, friendly, and not to mention, confident. Stop scowling and/or frowning and put those pearly whites to use – smile, as often as you can!
4. Do nod at all the right places
Nodding is a way of acknowledging something the other person is saying. It also shows that you’re paying attention. This is a great way to keep the conversation going without putting too much effort. Plus, it shows that you’re interested in what the other person is saying – even if you secretly think that they’re spouting nonsense!
Suggested read: The complete guide on what NOT to do on a first date
5. Do give a firm handshake
It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man, a firm handshake lets the other person know that you’re a confident person. However, in your quest to exude confidence, don’t crush the other person’s hand! A firm handshake gives the idea that you’re unafraid of taking charge.
6. Do take up space
Believe it or not, taking up more space actually makes you seem confident. Taking space, in the sense that gesticulating while talking, also known as talking with your hands, is a way of exuding confidence. Who knew, right?
Now, the don’ts.
7. Don’t cross your arms
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You probably already know this, but crossing your arms is like silently telling the world that you’re unapproachable! On the one hand, crossing your arms could make you seem defensive, and on the other, it pulls your body inwards, making you appear defeated. When you’re trying to exude confidence, this is the last thing you want to be doing, no?
8. Don’t speed talk
When you’re nervous, you sometimes tend to rush through what you want to say. You might not even know you’re doing this. So keep your head about you when you’re trying to put across a point; don’t rush through it. Take a deep breath, talk in a manner that you’re comfortable with and as slowly as you want, even if it takes a bit of time to get your point/story out. If it helps, enunciate your words. Even if you’re terrified that someone might interrupt you or say something that might cause you to break your chain of thought, don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. Keep your cool, gather your thoughts, apologize for the break in the conversation and move on. That’s being confident by having your wits about you.
9. Don’t back down from your opinions
While it won’t win you any awards for being Mr/Ms Congeniality to break out into an argument on your first date, you don’t have to come across as a pushover either. Don’t come across as wishy-washy in your opinions. If you believe in something strongly, stick to your guns, but in a polite yet firm manner. That’s what confidence is all about. Just as your date is entitled to their opinions, you are too. People don’t always agree on many things, and that’s okay. In fact, that’s what makes life interesting. It brings new perspectives into your life.
Suggested read: 16 failproof first date tips for women that are sure to dazzle your date
10. Don’t be stuck to your phone
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This is one of the rudest things you could ever do – it doesn’t matter if it’s a date or a business meeting. Plus, it comes across as you hiding behind your phone because you’re not confident enough to have a conversation or a meeting without staring at it. You might be tempted to whip out your trusty cell phone at the first hint of uneasiness or awkwardness, don’t. Apart from it being totally rude, it also makes you look unapproachable and/or uninterested in the people around you. Now that’s not the picture you want to give to your date, is it?
These body language cues will help you come across as a pretty confident person. Believe in yourself and practice these whenever and wherever you can, and you’ll soon feel and be the confident person you want to be. It ain’t rocket science; all you gotta do is tell yourself that you can do it. Trust yourself, and you’ll be surprised with how much you’re capable of and how much strength you have.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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