“I am going to end your life… long search for a soul mate!”
So you’ve spent the whole week researching, weaving the write words, and editing pictures of yourself to make your online dating profile on this website look ‘not like you’? C’mon, girls, we have all been there, done that—even men do it! However, most of them forget that it is not rocket science to catch the online dating red flags before going out with a guy who is “trouble, trouble, trouble”! (Taylor Swift, you Goddess!)
Suggested read: 7 REAL reasons why online dating will NEVER fetch you lasting love
1. “A picture’s worth a thousand words?”
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It is normal to find those weird guys who always post:
- Blurred pictures of them in the bar, captioned ‘living in the blur of things!’ (Really?).
- Or photo bombed by a million other people! (How does he manage to find so many Cumerbatches?)
- Or hiding himself under those Go-go Sunglasses (even inside the airplane!)
- Or dressed as Batman for Halloween (Also, who dresses as Batman for Halloween?!)
- Or in miniature, somewhere ahead of the Great Wall of China. (Object not found!)
If you find them creepy, you are sane; if you don’t, you need some serious help to identify these online dating red flags! These pictures are shouting out loud at you, lassie, that the user is hiding some (very important) details about him! Yes, it is an amazing chat fodder when somebody displays snaps of himself on a holiday or out with bros, but it’s not asking too much of him, if you want at least one clear image of his face. Giving him the benefit of the doubt is doubtful!
2. AutoMATEd
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“Dear Friend,
True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing. I want to be this friend in your life. So will you be my friend?”
Thickhead!
Well, this message was from a personal horror experience! If you too have received such an online note that appears oddly like a formal letter, it perhaps is! Some practiced online daters type a standard message that they direct to every single girl while sending her a friend request. If a guy is truly interested in knowing you he will take the time to actually view your profile and then write a personal message referring to specific things in your profile. Sending a generic cut-and-paste chat message like, “Hey miss, I just saw your profile picture and was fascinated and charmed …” is a definite dating red flag!
3. I want you ‘to be (or not to be)…’
“I am looking for an intellectual, gifted, smooth, sensual, gorgeous, compassionate, tall, fair, slim, ambitious, successful…… woman!”
And who are you, Lord Voldemort?
Stating some basic requirements like if you are willing to see someone who is a chain smoker or has kids of their own is important. That is how the online or offline dating thing works. However, what is not acceptable is expecting your would-bes to match up to your long list of demands! If you come across a profile that mentions requirements like vital statistics, height, pay, and looks (or even embraces overbearing expressions about the same), don’t bother considering whether or not you can meet his hopes! This one is a sure disappointment if you avoid the red flag!
4. I am no ‘Shakespeare in Love’
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No one wants that of you too, you bum! One Shakespeare was enough to cause all the pain, we don’t need another one! However, when creating a profile on an online dating site, it would be kind of you to write at least something in the ‘bio’ section. This space, if you didn’t know it yet, allows you to speak about yourself (everyone lies!), in addition to responding to the form queries and prompts. In case your guy has skipped the section, you must ask him whether or not he intends to be in a relationship! Yes, some find it daunting to complete this section and some aren’t good with words, so I warn you that if you don’t find yourself connected to his profile, it could be quite taxing to feel captivated by him offline!
5. “Hannibal Lecter sent you a message!”
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A flirt or a sexual predator? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Nonetheless, this difference can be easily made out if you keep a check on the language he uses. So an over-sexualizing profile on the online dating site shows that he is a one-track mind and basically wanting to sleep (with or without consent) with everyone! How can he make you feel loved and special? …unless you are looking for the same! 😉
This sexual language may also mean that he lacks the basic etiquette of decently interacting with women or even pursuing a normal relationship! Quite scary!
Suggested read: Things you MUST know about online dating scams to protect yourself
6. Facts stranger than fiction!
His profile is basically, “The Legend of His Failed Relationships!” He has not been unsuccessful in listing out every detail of why his love life sucks; at least he has succeeded in something! Divorcees, particularly, feel the necessity to reveal the specifics of their past marriage. On a positive note (though the silver lining is bleak!), this could also mean that he wants you to know the truth! However (my pessimistic self can’t wait to shatter your dreams!), in most situations it suggests that he has just had a break-up that he isn’t ready to move on from! Yet, don’t shoot him off right away for a mere mention of his past. The red flag is when he goes on blabbering excessive details about the ‘marriage that was’!
7. ‘Brag Pit!’
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“I am not like the others!” By the way, who are the ‘others’ we are talking about?
If a guy constantly compares himself to his contemporaries (and competitors), ironically, it indicates that he suffers from a real low self-worth. This could be from the hard luck that he has had over the few millennia that he has been trying to get a gal! Bragging about being different (in a good way or a bad, he only knows!) could also mean that he presumes he is superior to others and that he expects you to stroke his ego! These dating red flags should never be snubbed or the snob will take control of you in no time!
8. Negation of the Negation
“I don’t want my woman to work. I won’t tolerate her talking to other guys. I don’t like pets. I couldn’t tolerate when history told me about the Suffragette movement.”
Is this Friedrich Nietzsche online?
If he is on a negative declaration spree, steer clear of him! I understand that people communicate their opinions differently while writing what they think. But if this man is constantly using ‘not’ words, his intentions are ‘not’ being misunderstood!
9. Proceed with ‘Caution’
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Now let’s talk about the alter egos to the above mentioned type! The ones who want the woman to “take care of herself”! Don’t you dare read it as “handle herself with care”! What he demands of you is to bungee jump from the summit of Everest, paraglide, swim the Nile, climb the Andes and more! Yes. But it could also suggest that he wants a woman who likes ‘prettying’ herself up. If you don’t fit either of the slots, this man isn’t your cup of tea!
10. An ‘I’ for an ‘I’
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In the world of ‘selfies’, narcissism is not a sin. Using the word “I” does not certainly suggest that he is an egotist or a bum! Talking about yourself in your bio is perfectly fine. However, what matters is the context in which the guy uses it! Imposing his ideas on you is definitely one of the dating red flags! The tone of his conversation will tell you whether or not your suspicion is valid. If he can suffocate you online imagine how smothered you are going to feel in his real presence? An absolute No!
Suggested read: How to make your online dating profile stand out – the scientific way!
Online dating was basically meant to be a boon to the current generation that can’t even take out time to breathe! It was invented to make dating stress-free, allowing for interaction without actually meeting the person and thus keeping rejection private! However, screening potential dates sometimes can become a real pain if you don’t pay attention to the red flags. For the convenience offered in online dating, you must observe an added level of effort that is needed to filter out the daft and the whacky to reach the sane ones. If you pay heed to the online dating red flags, you can easily identify these good ones and take the relationship from on-line to in-person! Happy dating! 
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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