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10 Clear Signs You Are Letting Go Of The Pain, But Not The Person

ife comes in different phases – love, loss, and everything in between. When you are in love, you think that everything is possible. You get blinded by your own heart and don’t see what is already in front of you. Too often, the kind of love that we think would stay with us forever, leaves us without giving any consolation. We try to move on, but we are already so much in love with our significant other, that we find it impossible to truly let go of them.

We might let go of the pain, but not the person. If you have depicted the following signs while letting go of your one true love, chances are that there would still be a part of your loved one, living in you right now.


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1. You still think of them every once in awhile

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Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Letting go doesn’t come with a time frame. Chances are that you might not be able to move on from your past entirely. If you still think of your loved one, it simply implies that you haven’t let go of either the relationship or the person.

2. You still have a souvenir of your past relationship

It could be an old photograph or that unexpected birthday present. You can’t let go of it, as every time you touch it, it feels like touching your lover all over again.

3. You stay in touch with their friends

Because that is the only way to know how your partner is doing. You might get over the pain that the breakup had caused, but you still want to know about their whereabouts. You want to make sure if they are happy or not.

4. When you want to stay friends with your ex

Taking separate ways and not seeing them ever again might seem like the hardest thing to do. You would rather have them in your life as a friend than not having them at all.

5. When you travel a lot after the breakup

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Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

We assume that we can escape our past if we visit new places and have some life-changing experience. It might help you to get over your past by letting go of the pain, but the moment you come back to your life, you would realize that you never really let go of the person in that process.

6. You hop from one relationship to another

You simply look for them in every single person you meet, without realizing that you can’t replace them. People are different and unlike things, they can’t be replaced.

7. You try to replace the pain instead of accepting it

You overcome your pain by buying a luxurious car or a designer dress. Too often, we take the help of materialistic things to make us feel better. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, it might even work to take away your pain temporarily, but it can’t take away those memories.

8. You don’t forgive yourself or your ex

If you have parted ways in a bad note, you might keep holding a grudge for the rest of your life. Sometimes, we forgive the whole world, but are not able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, which never let us move on.

9. You distract yourself

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Most of the times, people start working overtime or distract themselves with meaningless sex, only for the pain to subside. This might backfire as the distraction can never really take away your pain, it will only subside it.


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10. The idea of getting back together makes you happy

If you still think you can get back together with your ex, then you have certainly not moved on from your past relationship. You could have let go of the pain that the breakup had caused you, but was not able to let go of them, as your one and only.

Letting go is certainly an art, which might take a lifetime to master. Sadly, no one can teach you the dynamics of it. It is a road traveled alone by only the bravest of souls. Just do it one step at a time. Let go of the pain and the person, if you want to find peace.

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

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10 Clear Signs You Are Letting Go Of The Pain, But Not The Person
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Because letting go is NOT a mechanical process...
Bhavya Kaushik

Bhavya Kaushik

A national bestselling author, Bhavya believes that too often the stories we write paint the reality we try to escape from. Bhavya believes in breaking the stereotypes and trying new things because life is too short to let it stay boring. With his love for verse, he can be found avidly blogging about life, love and everything that covers in between. He lives his life by the motto, 'I'm the story of my own journey.' "I don't write stories. I write characters."