So I am in love, and I think I am in it for the long haul. Thank you, thank you very much! The big question is not far away; I can see it coming. How do I know it? Well, don’t we women know everything? Now I can’t help to have questions: Is he marriage material? Will he make a good husband?
One thing that I have learnt from the marriages around me is that a good person can very well be a bad husband. Yes, you read that right! So how do we spot the potential disaster by finding the red flags that indicate towards him being a bad husband? Read on to identify these signs.
Suggested read: 50 ‘I dos’ you need to be able to commit to before getting married
1. “Baby, I’m addicted. I’m out of control!”
‘A hard day’s night’ must be concluded with a hard-earned pint for the man, while the dutiful wife waits at home for her husband with a good meal on the table! He comes home, abuses her, and expects her to sit while he eats no matter how late it is—or may be doesn’t come back at all! This ‘tradition’ was a reality in the past and wrongfully so! Women today are in no way going to accept a bloke who gives his life away to booze because this bad habit of his is going to hit the family financially, physically and psychologically too. Imagine the embarrassment that you will feel when you see your husband waltzing down the road on his way home from the pub, barely able to stand up straight. This is a clear indicator of a bad husband and I suggest that you throw the relationship into the gutter ASAP!
2. “Las(t) Vegas!”
If your boyfriend is Mr. Great Gambler, I can certainly say that he’ll make a bad husband. A man who waits for the month to end so that he can splurge his whole salary on the next Mets game can never be financially stable. Financial stability is very important for both the partners in a marriage. You will have to build a legacy together and remember to take care of the next generation that is on its way! God forbid, once you both tie the knot, he may start setting your money on fire too!
3. Secret life of the ‘typical’ boyfriend!
If you have to keep your boyfriend’s actions under wraps (unless he is FBI and you busted his cover!) you already know that he is going to make a bad husband; you are just not coming into terms with it. See, if you would approve of what he says and what he does, you would flaunt him to all of your family and friends. I mean, I talk about my guy all the time! You want others to know about what a gem he is and how lucky you are! You also want others to be somewhat jealous of you. However, if all this is far from the truth and you have to lock him and his deeds in a closet, then baby, it is time to move on!
4. ‘Treat’ the parents!
I am not of the opinion that one should choose their life partner blindly on the basis of what their parents, relatives or friends say. But if all the three groups are shouting out at you that this guy is not the right one, there is something fishy! Since you are about to make the biggest decision of your life, one that will ultimately decide other major things on the way ahead, you have to be attentive to all the warning signs of a bad husband. If your would-be treats your parents disrespectfully, he can never treat you well. Marriage is an institution with certain rules and regulations, which must be followed!
5. Baby’s Day ‘Out’!
There can be no fixed recipe to turn a man into a ‘good husband’. The term itself is very ambiguous as it fits in different definitions for different women and men. I may want someone who is ambitious while you may prefer a laid back happy-go-lucky character. Thus, if you desire a family after marriage, you have to make sure he is game too!
If the wail of a baby scares the hell out of your man while you are Mother Universe, this guy is not the right fella for you, darling! He is never going to walk you down to Mother Care or drive the kids to their Early Learning Centers, let alone trying things out with them! Rather than wasting your time on this dude, keep the hunt for your Mr. Right going!
Suggested read: 13 questions your partner should be able to answer honestly
6. Selfi(e)sh!
Image source: CollegeTimes
Women today want a guy who can look after himself, but that in no way means that he should be his own favorite person! If he loves himself more than anyone in the world, proclaiming “My axis doesn’t revolve around anybody!”, he is going to make a super bad husband. A man who is too attached is trouble, but a man with no strings at all is even worse. Selfies are a psychological disorder… I hope you know that! But since everyone is clicking them, we shouldn’t single him out. However, clicking too many selfies can be a red flag!
7. “Les Miserables!”
The socialization process of men is different from that of women. Society teaches them to be stoic and passive, and warns them against showing their emotions. I am not asking them to howl like a baby when they are having a bad day at work, but the whole “I won’t talk on the phone” or “I will drink myself into a trance” drama all of the time is unbearable! If every time you show concern and ask him “What’s bothering you?” and he says, “Nothing” with a scowl on his face, there’s something wrong with your guy. In my opinion, this depressing bloke will make a very depressing and bad husband!
8. Yin and Yang
You and your partner can never strictly have the same plans for your lives, but when it comes to some vital issues, the same focus will indicate that you are going to make a happy couple! If he does not have the similar long term and short term goals as you, he will make a bad husband for you! Not agreeing on money matters, family issues, holiday plans may turn problematic, so think twice about the decision you are about to make!
9. “That son of a ‘beach’!”
If your lover puts you down publicly or privately, he is not marriage material. Calling you names, ridiculing your thoughts, or making you feel like a fool are all signs of a bad husband. If he uses the slang “Bitch” as a synonym to “Woman”, no sensible woman is going to tie the knot with him. Dropping the b bomb while referring to ladies shows that he’ll be calling you that soon too, if he hasn’t already!
10. A ‘clean’ slate!
Many bachelors are super dirty, living like a refugee in their own flats! For instance, they tend to turn their socks inside out when unclean to save the washing for another month! In case you have OCD, and I know many women do, you are in for some real crap, quite literally! All of this seems cute during the dating phase, but living with a messy spouse is a whole different experience!
Suggested read: 6 unexpected questions you MUST ask your partner before saying ‘I do’
If you think “why is this woman making me question his integrity? He loves me so much and is such a good person!” Well, my dear, being a husband is like a job that you are either fit for or not!
You may love your boyfriend, but are you sure that he will be a good husband? That is the true question!
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