You really like that classmate of yours and you’ve had the hots for him for what seems like ages… and voilà! He asks you on a date on a fine sunny morning. Goes without saying that you are excited as heck! On the D-day, you spend hours in front of the mirror trying out outfits that show you off the best, decking up so you look like a princess. At the auspicious hour of your date, you meet up, the sight of his uber-charming smile making your knees feel wobbly. When the date is over, you think and believe you had the best day of your life with your heartthrob. You return home feeling all mushy and oh so happy, humming cute love songs to yourself, the most adorable smile rarely leaving your pretty face. You are looking forward to having another awesome date with him, having already planned what you will wear and the places you will visit.
But like the stab of a thousand ice daggers in your heart, days pass, which turn into weeks, but he never once calls for a second date. How heartbreaking does that feel? It’s as if you had lost a trophy that you had miraculously won but for some reason couldn’t hold on to. So what went wrong? Why didn’t you make it past the first date?
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Let’s explore the potential mishaps that you may unknowingly commit so that you can save yourself from ending what could have been a budding romance and not let things get ruined on the very first date.
1. You lied about things before the first date
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This specifically happens with people who have met via the internet before the first date. The internet isn’t known to be a place where people are the most honest, and often take advantage of it by saying blatant lies about themselves – not to say, use misleading photos too. You can’t just pretend you are a rich, famous model – or a few years younger or older – if you are not.
2. You ended up talking just about yourself
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Guys do like girls who are bubbly and are easy to talk to, but that doesn’t mean that you can overdo it. This is one of the most important reasons why boys don’t call back after the first date. You can’t talk so much that it irritates the hell out of your date. This will give your date the impression that you are too vain, rather than just confident – confidence is a good thing, but vanity is not. Make sure that you let him talk about himself too, and let him see that you can also be a great listener. More importantly, if you reveal everything about yourself on the first date, then there will hardly be any mystery left for him to unravel in the following dates.
3. You kept bringing up your ex-lovers
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Guys just hate it when their dates speak of their exes and won’t shut up about how amazing they are, how they are still great friends, and so on and so forth. They won’t be sure whether you have actually gotten over your past relationships or not, and, worse, it’ll make him feel unimportant. If that’s all you talk about on your first date, then you can surely give up all hopes and expectations of having a second date with him.
4. You probably went on speaking about girly topics and hobbies
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You should think before speaking on a first date. Find out what your common hobbies and interests are, and discuss those with him. You have your own girly topics and hobbies, but that does not mean he can relate to them. Just going on and on about them will give the guy a headache, and all the chances of your having a second date with him will be doomed.
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5. You were more focused on your cell phone rather than the man before you
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It is understandable that cell phones are impossible to stay away from, what with the endless number of texts that flow in and need your constant attention. However, for the sake of your first date you should let it stay aside for a change. If you want him to call you again, give him your full, undivided attention.
6. You were probably a little too much like a guy friend
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Guys love it when they can mingle with their partner in the way they do with their male friends. It is understandable when you speak informally with him or use swear words so as not to come off as a prude, but keep that habit in check on the first date. Instead, make it a point to behave like a true lady. You can leave all the informal and frank talking for the dates that would follow.
7. You did not even care to offer to pay
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Men like playing the part of a gentleman, and it is very unusual that a guy would expect their date to pay up on the first date. That said, it is good ethics to at least offer to pay for the dinner. This is the most important ground rule of dating – being a true lady. And if you want to play this part successfully and conquer his heart, then you have to at least not make him feel like you are just out with him for free dinner. If this happens, chances of having a second date will just go right out of the window.
8. You tried too hard to impress him
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If you flatter him by agreeing constantly to everything that he says and pretending to be someone you’re not, you will appear desperate. And guys never get attracted to girls who have zero personality or individuality. If you want to secure chances of seeing him again, you’ve got to be yourself and make him see that he is not your only option, nor that your world will stop moving if he does not ask you out again.
9. Maybe he is not sure whether you would actually appreciate a second date or just turn him down
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Boys fear rejection just as much as girls do. Sometimes, even though a guy loved the first date and would love more than anything to spend more time with you, he just can’t muster the courage to call you again for a second date. It is nothing but lack of certainty that makes him hesitant. In such a situation, it is your responsibility to make him feel less intimidated. He asked you for a first date, so what harm could you possibly cause if you call him to just check on him? None at all!
So pick up that phone and give him a call, and you will figure out by his tone if he is shy and hesitant or has been just avoiding you. If it is the former, then you should be careful about what comes out of your mouth – be friendly, but don’t ask too many questions. Just go with the flow, and in no time you will have him asking you for a second date!
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10. It isn’t your fault, he may have just gotten acquainted with someone else
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Sometimes fate can be downright cruel, and you can do nothing about it. Everything had gone perfectly on your first date and you know for sure that nothing was messed up. And yet when you do not get a call from him for another date, you can safely assume that he has met someone else. It could be an old lover, or he could even have met a girl who has interested him more than you did. Or perhaps he did not consider it necessary to call you since it was… well, just a first date. If it is so, then you should let it all go and move on instead of waiting around for him to change his opinion. After all, there are many fish in the sea, and having lost one does not mean that your life has come to an end or there won’t be an even better ‘someone’ for you out there.
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