10 Valid Reasons Why You Should NEVER Chase A Man

by Aishani Laha · December 4, 2015

Before I can start giving you highly practical life lessons on why you should never chase a man, you deserve some congratulations on breaking out of the stereotype in the first place. A lot of people are under the impression that it is the men who are supposed to go out in pursuit of women who have captured their fancies. Consequently, the woman being pursued is supposed to play hard to get, actually secretly enjoying the attention and ultimately giving in when the man pulls out all the stops to woo her. We all know the drill.

However, times have changed. With increased online connectivity and changing social norms, men have decided that it is now time to let the women do the chasing, while they decide to act all coy and difficult. As patriarchal as that may sound, the male ego is, in this case, the least of your problems. As a woman, the problem is that men have forgotten the delicate art of persuasion, subtlety, and flirtation. As a result, we women have gotten frustrated and decided to take the reins ourselves. Several examples have shown that women have gotten nowhere chasing a man who acts aloof and unattainable. The relationship either ends because of a massive ego battle or smaller misunderstandings.

Instead, it is better to preserve all your (futile) effort and self-respect. If that hasn’t convinced you, here are ten very valid reasons that will convince you to finally stop chasing him.

1. It’s a massive blow to your self-esteem

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You would be surprised if you knew the number of women who suffer from self-esteem issues. In fact, you don’t even need something super-traumatizing to happen to you in order to develop serious self-esteem issues. Chasing a man who does not seem to love you back is one of those subtle things that looks like no big deal for others, but that hurts you at your core. You feel he is not paying heed to your advances because you don’t deserve his attention. Well, you don’t deserve to feel that way. Losing your confidence is much worse than losing a guy who doesn’t love you back.

2. If you have to chase him, he is just not that into you

Speaking of the guy who doesn’t love you back, you have to realize that if you pursue him, he isn’t interested, and in all probability, he never will be. You will probably think I am a monster for putting it so harshly, but this is a truth you have to come to terms with some time or another. As clichéd as it may sound, men are usually not the kind who dig all the drama and suspense that comes with pursuit and wooing. If they like you, they make sure that you have at least an inkling of it, explicitly or implicitly. Not only is chasing him fruitless, but it is also beneath your dignity to waste your time with someone who will never reciprocate your love.

3. He is shady and you deserve better

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I am not getting ahead of myself by calling the man that you are apparently in love with, shady. Sometimes, love makes us do things that are pretty stupid. I can safely assume that the guy you have diligently been chasing for such a long time is a jerk, because if he was a nice, understanding, practical man, then he would tell you to your face that he is not interested. There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking face-to-face. In fact, that sort of a rejection is much better than him leading you on a wild goose chase with no end.

4. You miss out on spending time with people who actually love you

There are two ways in which this works. First, you are so busy chasing the guy that you don’t even remember that you have people who actually care about you and enjoy your company. You miss out on making a lot of good memories with your friends and family, and the reason for that is not worth it. Second, your friends start avoiding you, because you have made it clear that you would rather whine and spend time behind this guy than pay attention to them. No fun for anyone involved.

5. You start to over-analyze and become paranoid

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When you mindlessly chase a guy, you become over-analytic about everything they do and say, and that takes a toll on your mental health. You become paranoid and anxious because you think every Facebook status, text, and behavioral change has an ulterior motive. You think that you are supposed to turn into the FBI of relationships and figure out all his inner thoughts because they just might be about you. This is taking paranoia to a whole new level.

6. You get exhausted for all the wrong reasons

Yeah, when you have a crush, everyone teases you about them, and you have someone to imagine that perfect future with. But you also become very tired, very fast (although you will never admit that to yourself). You start doing things like sleeping with your phone under your ear, hyperventilating when they talk to you, and staying online all night if he is online all night. The key is to let life be. Solution? Stop chasing him and let destiny play its course.

7. You practically become a stalker and that pushes him farther away

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Let’s look at this from the guy’s point of view for a change. They are not the kind who like persistent girls who constantly text them, stalk them or talk about your future together. No one likes a stalker and he will treat you like one if you go on chasing him. This will make him all the more unattainable and he will have a very different (and not a very flattering) idea of you.

8. You lay the foundation for a massive heartbreak

As sad as it may sound, such arrangements don’t usually work out. He will move on with his life, so you don’t want to become the sad, lonely stalker-lady sitting at the back of his wedding. In all probability, it will not work out. In that case, you will have to deal with the worst kind of heartbreak—that of unreciprocated love. It is better to remove the premise altogether and make the decision to never chase a man. Instead, you should keep your options open. In the pursuit of something that is only a dead end, you might miss out on the opportunity for real love.

9. They may not be as awesome as you believed all along

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In some occasions, it so happens that the man you had been pursuing all along decided to reciprocate your feelings, and you almost want to cry with joy. However, I have already established why he is a jerk a few points ago, and you may see that once you get up close and personal with him, he is not the person you expected. This may lead to a very difficult relationship because even before the relationship started, you were unsure about each other. It is best to avoid the whole deal and move on.

10. It is your duty to revive the practice of chivalry

You may think this is a moot point, but it is a universal requirement for men to get back to their knight-in-shining-armor days. The art of chivalry is dying and it is because women have taken to the chase themselves, giving men an excuse to lay back and relax while they lead you on and on and on. When women stop doing that and reclaim their position, men will realize that their dates will NOT be handed to them on a silver platter. Thus, for the very art of chivalry to rear its head and come to life again, you should never chase a man, even if you are very, very interested in him.

It is not a nice feeling to be left heartbroken or, even worse, pity-dated by the guy you thought was the love of your life. You have to let destiny have its way this time. The least you can do is stop chasing the dude because if you have to chase him, then he is definitely not ‘The One.’

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Summary