Take it from me- a former coffee chugging couch potato who loved his fast-paced action movies and adrenaline-pumping video games better than his own girl- women cannot and do NOT take to a lack of effort well. If you wish to find her and keep her and have her fall for you over and over, every morning, you gotta understand that the magic happens only as long as you keep doing the trick. Effort is paramount.
However, since my own teeny tiny confession isn’t going to do the job, I will give you 10 solid reasons that go hand-in-hand with my former (and I must admit, shameful) life of not being able to give my relationship the air it needed to breathe- EFFORT. Here are the 10 reasons why women do NOT want laid-back men:
1. You won’t stand out
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If you are still trying to woo her and effort isn’t anywhere on your to-do list, I wonder what the f*ck you are trying to do. However, if you have managed to get her to be in your life in the first place (like I did) and then, forgotten all about the effort- ouch! It shall only be a matter of time until she drifts away- to the other side of the bed and then, out and away!
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2. You won’t make her feel desired
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Any effort, big or small, is a token of acknowledging that you appreciate the relationship you have built and shall remain committed to nurturing it. Once you stop, you are making it known that you do not care enough to do your bit to make her feel cherished or keep the relationship alive.
3. You will come off as a jerk
The more laid-back you are, the more complacent you become. You might not realize it but one fine morning, you will wake up to an empty bed and an empty house and probably, still NOT feel the emptiness weigh down your heart because that’s how complacent you’d become in your comfort zone. I know because my gaming console and beer cans gave me a consoling, reassuring look. Feeling SO sorry afterward does NOT help.
4. It shows you are NOT involved in the relationship
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Admit it, if the only conversation you make is for her to fetch you some more beer from the refrigerator and promise to NOT make too big a fuss about birthdays and ‘stuff,’ especially when she has cried her eyes out the last three years you’ve forgotten to wish her, it is clear the relationship is dead to you.
5. Efforts are meant to be in a language she gets
Because inviting her over to challenge you in a game you’ve chipped half your week in isn’t really the ‘quality time’ she seeks to spend with you. She might kick your a*s at it, beware- but she isn’t feeling too good about it and neither are you. You are sulking about losing and she is upset about losing you and the relationship. Why’d you think that her request to meet, after days of not seeing each other, should be granted like THIS!
6. Everyone LIKES efforts
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Every relationship, be it the one with your parents or friends, thrives on effort. Your girl won’t be an exception. So, give the relationship you want to KEEP what it needs.
7. Consistency in efforts goes a long way
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If she is looking to settle down with you in the long run, this is the first thing that she will notice. If you have your priorities sorted out and you know what you want in your life, she won’t be uncertain to make the next move.
9. The BIG moment
Trust me! No girl likes to take a laid-back guy to her parents. I mean, legs on the coffee-table and an indifferent attitude toward getting along with people who matter to her will have you shown the door in no time- and yes, without dinner!
10. Nobody likes that mess
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Very often, the more laid-back you are, the messier your life is. I am not talking about that messed up wardrobe or house of yours. I am referring to your life, your goals, and your priorities. No girl would like to date a guy who has his life hanging in the doldrums.
11. Looking at the bigger picture…
It will help the two of you to see the bigger picture. Every girl is concerned about her future, and would like to make her dreams come true with a confident guy by her side!
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12. … and appreciating the small things
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A laid-back attitude won’t make you appreciate the beauty of time. She will surely realize that if you can’t appreciate your present, chances are that you might have that same outlook towards your future.
Is that what you want?
NO? Thought so. Then, buck up and make the effort to change things!
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