Okay, so recently, a friend of mine who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend forever had sex for the first time with him and it has been the most life-changing experience for her. After talking to people gushing about sex and one-night stands, it was quite refreshing hearing her awkwardly confess about her first encounter with a boyfriend she has been with for over 4 years now (I kid you not). Now whether she had sex because she finally realized he is the one or she was tired of being called the Virgin Mary by super supportive friends like us, I am not sure. What I am sure of though, is the fact that having sex changed everything about her relationship, as it did for mine, and as it does for everyone else.
Having sex with a guy before getting married is no big deal now, and I would say that it is even necessary. It not only changes you as a person, but it also has a lot of effects on your relationship. Sad and cynical people would say that a boy is only with you to get into your pants. However, when you are with someone you truly love, and they are with you for the same exact reason, sex only works towards cementing your relationship further.
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Here are all the reasons why having sex with a guy changes your relationship completely and definitely- for the better.
1. Your hormones make you temporarily forget all your relationship clauses
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When you have sex (which leads to a climax, in case you weren’t aware) your body releases a ton of hormones, which are the cause for most of your changes in life. Before you have sex, you tend to have a very pious outlook regarding your relationship, and it is more along the lines of sweet forehead kisses and holding hands coyly and exchanging adorable text. After you have your climax however, all the things you had imagined about the reality of your relationship goes flying out of the window along with your self-proclaimed celibacy. Trust me when I tell you that your relationship will be taken to a whole new level after you have had sex.
2. You get to know a person more intimately than you had before
Intimate is a term that people often associate with physical intimacy and contact and closeness, whereas in reality, to get intimate means to get close in ways that are much more that simply physical. After you have had sex with a person, you lose all kinds of inhibitions, and I am not merely talking about the inhibitions regarding sex or your body. Being that close to someone in that manner helps you to understand each other in a whole new and different light, which is bound to change the dynamics of your relationship completely.
3. You get addicted to the new physical contact you have established
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It is time to talk about those hormones again. When you have sex, your body releases hormones, particularly oxytocin, which is a happy hormone which women tend to get addicted to. However, there are many more circumstances under which these hormones are released, apart from just sex. For example, every time you hug, kiss or cuddle, your body feel happy and comforted in the presence of your partner, because oxytocin is released. Although nothing compares to the ecstasy that you feel during and immediately after you have had sex, you tend to get addicted to the physical contact that you establish, which becomes even more potent after you have been that intimate with each other. It also establishes a kind of dependence between the two of you- of the good kind of course.
4. You are much more stable and calm after you have gotten sex out of the way
I know I shouldn’t be referring to sex and something that needs to be out of the way, but you will find yourself much more easy, relaxed and stable in life after you have had sex with your partner. In fact, it saves you a lot of awkward conversations and tension filled moments, and when your friends ask you where you are going with your relationship, you might even manage a proper, more solid and enthusiastic answer. Also, don’t forget about the hormones which are all good things wiggling through your body making you a nicer human being, all because of sex.
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5. It is no more an awkward topic of conversation for the two of you
Couples who are together and have not had sex might be thick and thieves, but there are still a lot of topics which are off-limits because they entail a lot of awkwardness, even if you have mutually decided to not have sex anytime soon. For example, if you are out on a double-date or in the company of other couples, and they start to make out or crack innuendo-laden jokes, things might get decidedly awkward between you two. In fact, after you have made out passionately, you might have difficulty avoiding all the awkwardness that hangs in the air. After you have had sex, communicating between the two of you becomes super smooth and there is no awkwardness about anything, and that is always a good thing.
6. It might play an important role in determining the future of your relationship
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The consensus is divided amongst how many couples stay together after having sex and how many people go their separate ways after they have consummated. Although some people say that it is better to test the waters of your relationships right from the start by having sex, other people are of the opinion that you should wait it out. My friend, for instance, who has been with her boyfriend since ancient times feels that sex has only made their love stronger, which is true in most cases. In any case, you need to have sex to determine where your relationship is going.
7. You trust your partner a lot more after you have had sex
Even though sex is a much more open and discussable topic now, it is still quite impossible to get that intimate with someone you don’t trust. In fact, I truly believe that trust is a more detrimental factor in a relationship than love, because you are going to inevitably love the person you trust, but the opposite might not always be true. When you have sex with someone, you trust them not only with your body, but with your integrity and love a well, which initiates a whole new range of emotions between the two of you, and if there was any doubt in your mind, it is likely to get eliminated after you have come that close to each other.
8. The need to be with anyone else gets eliminated for both you and your partner
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Having sex brings you closer to each other, literally and metaphorically as well. Sex is not merely a means for reproduction. It is a coming together of two individuals and a sensation from which the rest of the word is exempt. It is feeling that you share with your partner exclusively, and one that your partner shares with you and no one else. Before you have sex, there is always a sense of incompletion that pervades a relationship, but having sex literally cements the two of you together, and your mutual need to give during intercourse prevents you from craving the physical company of other people.
9. Sex makes you a happier, more tolerable individual
A couple who have been in a relationship for a considerable length of time might not be on the same page regarding sex during the pre-coital stage. One might want to have sex while the other might feel that it is better to wait, and this might lead to a lot of distress and disagreements. After you have had sex, not only do you become happier because of these miraculous hormones that women have been blessed with, but you also become happier because you and your partner finally get to be on the same page about everything, especially regarding sex, because you have already had it. If you truly love each other then there is no scope for regret, so I am not going into that, but other than that, all you feel is love and longing for the other person, without one feeling deprived and the other feeling pressurized.
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10. You can tell each other dirty jokes and cuddle at night without things getting weird
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This is a serious problem that I have noticed with said friend, and also many other couples. I mean it is okay to crack dirty jokes with your friends- they are a pivotal feature of true and lasting friendship, but dirty jokes with your partner is always a sensitive issue because again, innuendos might open that cupboard which you two are both wary about exploring. Even cuddling and touching in general is risky because certain places are out of bounds. After you have had sex though, you become friends for real because all dirty jokes are permissible and they are non-weird and you can cuddle whenever and however because what has to happen has already happened.
A lot of people might tell you that having sex with a guy is no big deal, but with regards to your relationship, intercourse is as big a deal as it gets because it changes the entire dynamic of your relationship, because you go from being vanilla lovers to bros for life.
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