In India, in most cases, if you are a single woman and 29, you are treated like a ticking time bomb … God forbid you hit the big three oh (30)!
It’s a clear sign that no one out there will marry you … in case you are lucky enough, you must marry the first person or thing that comes along. If you decide to stand your ground, you must have a will of steel to survive the zone of terror (also known as well-meaning but hysterical mother, I-know-what’s-best-for-you (and loudly speaking)father, cackling and very opinionated relatives), not to mention, much-amused younger siblings, who don’t have the faintest idea as to what awaits them when they grow up.
But if you survive, it’s a different story… Since I have survived past the dreaded 30, and have had to deal with the aforementioned ‘well-meaning’ family members, I thought why not list out the reasons why I am 30, single, and loving it:
1. I can get up at any time of the day/night that I want because the only schedule that I keep is my own – no husband’s schedules to match, no children to rush off to school, no maid waiting for a chance to give me the hairy eyeball if I asked her help with one extra chore, and certainly no in-laws, however ‘good’ they would have been, had I been married.
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2. Any time I want I can pick up and leave, plan impromptu holidays, lock my home up on a whim. For those of us with a travel bug this is what is the called the icing on the cake.
3. You have enough time to hang out with your gal pals, married buddies, male buddies, and siblings. You actually have a social life, and better still with people that you truly like.
4. Your space looks like your own, no drawings to be cleaned off the wall, no clothes to pick off the floor, no wet towels on the bed, no poo to wipe off a cute butt – you get my drift.
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5. No unrealistic expectations of a new family or awkward interactions with your in-laws. Your family already knows what you are, warts and all, and love you all the same.
6. Dinner can be from a carton, unending stream of leftovers or even a packet of maggi noodles, every night, no judgement whatsoever.
7. At 30, I think or at least believe, one has a better understanding of themselves. I can now go out with guys who understand me better because I understand myself better… older, self-assured men who don’t dig up the past and who value a person rather than superficial attributes.
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8. The air-conditioner temperature can be regulated to your body’s needs. No fighting over the remote, you can watch anything you want on the telly – be it binge watching Breaking Bad or indulging in a series of chick flicks.
9. You can eat an animal, peanuts, shell fish or whatever else that can be eaten because you don’t have to be worried about anyone else’s allergies but only your own
10. You can have your PMS outbursts, weep without any reason, scream and shout irrationally with no one to judge you or tell you otherwise
Most importantly since I am past the ‘Zone of Terror,’ when I marry, it will be because I want to and not because I have to.
We live in an age where we have ample choices – what we study, the kinds of jobs that we can pursue, the different things we buy, and the medical alternatives such as laser eye surgery, botox, facelifts, nose jobs, etc., However, when it comes to one of the largest decisions of our life, here in India, we force our hands and in essence, our choice is dictated only by age and time.
For a person who has weathered the storm, my exercising my choice is the best thing that I did for myself and realized that I am single, 30, and most definitely yes, loving it!
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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