I have lost count of the number of times I ended up face palming when I was either eavesdropping two fools talking or found myself sandwiched in between a heated argument. I have heard the most accomplished scholars of lame-o-logy and have felt like I should lop my ears right off just so I could have something to throw at them! No, seriously- and am sure you have heard some of these lame arguments too:
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1. Do you know who I am?
Really, even if you have been sitting across my desk all the freaking time, I am still to know who you are! Mister, I won’t freaking care if you owned Mars! You are still losing this debate downhill!
2. Man, you’re a vegetarian! What do you eat? Leaves?
This is one sh*t that really tsks me off! Yes, I am a vegetarian and guess what a hard core foodie and no, I love the environment too much to feed on leaves. Maybe, the next time you head to a restro, check the menu for veg delights.
3. She can either have beauty or brains!
How lame can you be! What makes you think a girl with smoky eyes and hot looks can’t read Jane Austen and explain to you why an oxymoron has nothing to do with the moron that you are! Bite me!
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4. Zits! How can I even go out?
Dearest girl clan, it is perfectly alright to have zits! What makes you wonder that having them means you are going to homelock yourself? One pimple on a face is not the end of the story! So, put on those shoes and head out.
5. She is fair, she is beautiful
Dude, have you ever seen Rihanna kicking some serious a** with her bold moves? If you still think that only fair is beautiful, hit me your number and I will fix you an appointment soon. I know some therapists who could cure the sh*t you are!
6. I am pampered! I can’t cook
Pretty pampered princesses, being pampered does NOT mean that you can’t take a walk to the kitchen. I mean just like it isn’t your onus to cook, so is it nobody else’s. Divvy up the tasks and nobody goes hungry, eh?
7. I am elder hence wiser!
Wow! You amaze me with your sh**ty logic! Just because you have walked the planet for more years entitles you to more intelligence? I bet science must have some laws to prove it, isn’t it?
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8. Only fools quarrel
I can’t help but giggle when people who are in a heated debate use this excuse to stomp off an argument. What were you just doing 15 minutes earlier? Who was the fool arguing in a high pitch voice which could put Moaning Myrtle to shame?
9. You don’t know how hard it is
Yes, my man of misery, you were born to live a life where you face too many hardships and if it were not for you, no one could have managed to champion the life you did! Does this false praise boost the shredded pieces of your ego?
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10. When I was your age
This really never ends. Goes out to all your doting parents and granddads who are quick to reference their age just to make you accept what they say! Really, when I will be your age, I hope I don’t have to use this pseudo-logic to impress my actual intelligent arguments on my kids!
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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