As a feminist and someone with a little bit of common sense, I have encountered a large number of women who have settled, whether in marriage or in a relationship, for people who frankly, do not deserve their love and attention. Now, why would women want to settle for someone they don’t really like very much? Simply put, there are f*cked up clichés doing the rounds since forever, which give them serious self-esteem issues, and frighten them into settling. Here are 10 ridiculous clichés which force women to settle:
1. Opposites attract
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When it comes to convincing women that they are super lucky to be with someone they don’t really want to be with, the laws of physics suddenly become relevant to human relationships. Strange. Opposites don’t attract. Partners in a relationship should be compatible and agree on things if they want to survive happily. Your magnetism has its own laws, so don’t yield.
Suggested read: To the man who will love me next…
2. The biological clock is ticking
Yes, because that is precisely why women are looking for partners, to be able to fulfil their only duty of producing human babies. Therefore, it is imperative to find the first man you can get hold of, marry him, have sex with him, produce a baby, and spend the rest of your life pretending to love him. This cliché successfully manages to dismiss the possibility that women might have an opinion about their own lives.
3. The grass is always greener on the other side
When people say this, they mean that you should be happy with who you are, because you will always want what you don’t have. What these people fail to understand is that if you are in a relationship that is sucking the life out of you, the grass is actually greener on the other side.
4. You are not going to get anyone better
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
So the only logical conclusion is to love the person you are stuck with, even if you don’t want to, right? It’s funny how men are never asked to be happy with whoever they have. For them, it’s always “there’s plenty of fish in the sea,” right? Because clearly since they have done you a huge favor by being with you, you should be eternally grateful that you were the fish they chose from the metaphorical sea that men seem to be so fond of.
5. You will never find true love if you are so picky
Your problem essentially is that you want someone who you are comfortable with, as opposed to who society thinks you should be comfortable with. You have to adjust and compromise and not be very picky when it comes to choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with, because then you will never find anyone. Frankly, if George Clooney can wait till he is 53 to realize who the love of his life is, you have time too.
6. You will end up being forever alone
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The fear of being single in a society which treats all single people like a joke, and make them feel miserable about themselves, is a very real fear. If you are single, it automatically means that you are not good enough for the high standard of men out there. Is fear of being single a valid reason to settle for substandard men? Hell no.
7. Men will be men
As opposed to “men will be whales?” Because clearly being a man is a good enough reason for you to overlook their shortcomings and be happy and content with your current situation.
8. You need someone to grow old with
Technically no, you don’t need a man you don’t like to grow old with. You need money, which you can save up by yourself, friends, which you can get even if you don’t have a man, and a walking stick which I am sure you can get for yourself. The fear of being alone and without a husband when you are old is a crappy reason to settle, because husbands die.
Suggested read: You are not meant to forget him
9. The poor bloke loves you
This goes beyond settling, and enters the territory of emotional blackmail and pity dating. I am sure that if you were the one who loved your partner, and they didn’t love you back, you would be called wonderful names like clingy, whiny, obsessive and more!
10. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Because getting married is obviously just like a Black Friday sale. You see everyone around you getting married, so you have to get married immediately and to the first person that you see because you are panic stricken. It will be a great story to tell the grandkids- “I got married to your granddad because I panicked.” Classic.
Bottom line, nothing, absolutely nothing should push you to settle for something less than what you think you deserve.
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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