Instant noodles, instant gratification, Instagram. The “instant lifestyle” has taken off in recent years, permeating what we eat, when we expect things, and how we interact with each other. This may be all fun and games while deciding which filter to apply onto your selfie, but when it comes to life commitments instantaneousness does not fare so well.
Dating is a difficult chore, complicated further in today’s digital world by nonsensical trends enabled by technology. These online dating trends are suffocating our relationships without us even noticing. All irony intended, love is that thing that fizzles out when we are too busy sharing the most recent date selfie with our bae because the world wants to know how happy we are.
Suggested read: The seven deadly sins of dating and how to avoid them
In hopes that this doesn’t happen to you, here are some dating trends that we believe should be put to death – instantly! 😛 Read on to find out if you are guilty of some yourself!
1. Connect offline
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Many people pride themselves in their innate tendency of advancing and trying innovative stuff that was not available before. But it’s important to constantly ask ourselves: is our obsession with advancing technology for the sake of innovation or convenience? In relationships, this is especially relevant. For instance, popping out the cliché question, “Will you be my… ?” has fallen victim to technology because it has become all too convenient! Sending a, “Are you in a relationship with… ?” request has killed the vintage romantic ‘proposal’ that even made Sandra Bullock go down on her knees! Making a relationship ‘Facebook official’ has become more of a joke for us nowadays, but that doesn’t change the fact that defining a relationship by the click of a button is devoid of any real emotional commitment!
2. “Snap” at them
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The blue and white logo has slowly taken the place of the green-eyed monster! It’s the “F” word which we should fear the most. Every relationship goes through short spells of “Happily-Never-Afters,” but that doesn’t mean that you have to flaunt them all on social media. Taking a screen snap of a fight and sharing it on social media? Who are you, Kourtney Kardashian? Would you flaunt dirty laundry on your Instagram account? With some Lark, Juno or Slumber even that would be more pleasing to see than the gory details of your relationship. And if you are super happy about your love life, I suggest that you keep it under wraps. Your happiness is not necessarily ours too!
3. Public(k)
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Instead of telling you why you shouldn’t flaunt your relationship of two weeks on Facebook (I know you’ve been there, done that!), I would rather tell you about the actual reactions of various people who like your post. You put up a “coupley” picture or a ‘relfie’ as your profile picture and write “the love of ‘mah’ life! Muahhh!” 178 LIKES, you tell me. This is what goes on on the other side:
- “Bloody liars!”
- “Just look at how they look together. I wouldn’t stand that fart for a day!”
- “Rubbish PDA!”
- “This woman covers my whole wall with her stupid posts. Time to block her. But let me ‘like’ her as a farewell!”
And if you want my opinion, I am sorry, but it’s outright irritating!
4. Vantage Point
A man paying for a date is sometimes cute, but taking absolute advantage of him all of the time isn’t very ladylike! This is definitely one of the dating trends that needs to be stopped immediately!
5. The M-“ask”
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“Where have you been?” Read this simple question: first in a concerned tone, then in a romantic sexy tone, and lastly in a furious tone. This ambiguity is the evil of texting!
Breaking up or having a fight on text rather than calling to communicate your feelings is the unhealthiest thing that can happen in a relationship! Even calling and breaking up runs the risk of not being able to fully empathize with the person. While texting, you just read the stuff in the attitude that suits you best! Stop this ASAP.
Suggested read: 12 dos and don’ts of texting during the start of the relationship
6. “Sharing” is caring?
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“So folks, weave started dating! I woz alone till thusday, but then I met Sally and lives not been the same.”
Wow. Instead of investing in this relationship, I’d recommend investing in a grammar book and a dictionary!
Spelling errors aside, let me at least give this chap credit for just announcing the beginning of his relationship with poor Sally and not sexting on a publicly visible forum! Do not share the intimate details of your love life with every online community you can think of – and if you do, make sure it’s brief, spellchecked, and not desperate for digital affirmation!
And fighting on these sites? You do know that people actually buy popcorn, invite friends over, and read your posts and subsequent 100 comments? Now that’s entertainment.
7. True Lies
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There are some could-have-beens who never enter a date with ‘true’ intentions in the first place. These hook ups of yours break our hearts more than yours! But if you are normally a genuine person but have been stupid enough to subscribe to the trend of a “monthly” fling, change your attitude immediately. You are missing the best part of the relationship, where love is tested and you must work together to keep it afloat! This dating trend gives rise to confused relationships where the couples watch Netflix every Friday and spend hours on the phone, yet decide to part ways because “there are other fishes in the sea!”
8. “Fool to play it cool!”
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This is a stupid game that has been doing the rounds for quite some time in the dating world. Who can show a colder shoulder? I mean you love her, so give her your all. I understand that hide-and-go-seek was your favorite game as a kid, but *knock knock* we are adults now! This is no way going to increase the sex quotient in the relationship!
If you are using it as a defence mechanism in case the other person is not interested, you’re backing yourself into a corner. Deliberately postponing “call me back” texts or screening calls because you’re too lazy to talk is lame. Now that you’ve brought your heart to the battlefield of love, unleash it from all the wraps!
9. It’s complicated
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Avoiding the “in a relationship” tag is a dating trend quite popular with millennials. A boyfriend or a girlfriend is a role that existed “once upon a time,” but now it seems as if every relationship is unofficial, complicated or downright secret! If it’s not yet clear to you because you probably belong to this group as well, let me give a silly example. Imagine a library without catalogues – you could spend an entire year looking for Erich Segal’s “Love Story” and never find it. Being an unlabeled dater feels like this; it doesn’t matter if you’re an open or closed book if we can’t even find you in the library!
10. A Talk to Remember
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If you have a problem, spill it out. If you are not “fine,” say it. That saves you the trouble of pretending and saves the other person from looking for a solution to a problem that they don’t even understand. Expecting them to understand without you opening your mouth or doing so just to misguide them is going to get you nowhere. Making them jealous by posing with some bum from work as a passive aggressive threat is not going to serve any purpose, so don’t do it!
Suggested read: 7 things we miss about dating in the olden days
As long as humans exist, dating will not die. And as long as this is true, I think that we should add some sash to the styles we follow, keeping a healthy balance of the vintage and the new. “Privacy” has become an alien word, and “courtship,” a dying art. Thus, in order to strike this tricky balance, we must first completely do away with these aforementioned dating tips. Stop tweeting for 5 seconds and take a hard look at how you are acting in a relationship. When you see what you’ve been doing wrong, dump those dating trends or else get dumped yourself.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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