Breaking up before Valentine’s Day? Who would want to be a prick like that? But you just have to do it because she is expecting you to pop the big question on Proposal day? Is there a way out?

Hell, there is!

What if she says “no” to you instead…? 😉

Pick your poison from the ones below depending on the difficulty level you are willing to put up with! Remember, this is a desperate situation, bro!

1. The alien invasion

Image source: Giphy

• Vanish from her life
• Avoid her calls and messages
• Become invisible to everyone by going on hibernation
• Turn up at her door on Proposal Day
• Tell her you were abducted by a UFO but you fought your way back to earth
• For her
• Now pop the question!
• And before she can say anything, get some friends to pose as aliens and take you again!

2. Momma’s boy!  

Image source: itimes

• Invite her over for a date
• Send your mom instead
• Ask her to do the talking because you are shy!

3. Blast from the past  

Image source: Giphy

• Photoshop some of your pictures to make it look like it’s from the 60s
• Kill two people
• Conduct plastic surgery on them to make them look like the two of you
• Ask her to meet you at the morgue
• Narrate a Bollywood previous birth crap script. Only replace the names of the characters with your names
• Tell her you both are meant to be
• Pop the question!

4. Elementary, Watson!

Image source: Tumblr

• Become an obsessive compulsive Sherlock fan
• Make a note of some of his deductions
• Apply it on random people
• Become a self-proclaimed highly-functional sociopath
• She will run away before you ask her the question!

5. The love drug 😉

Image source: wifflegif

• Send her to prison
• Turn up to bail her out
• Pay the policemen beforehand so that they really respect you
• When she looks amused at why the cops were so friendly, tell her that you were a regular visitor before
• She’s still confused?
• Tell her about your drug dealing history
• Assure her you are clean now
• Propose the next day, if she’s around. 😉

---

Suggested read: The 12 worst marriage proposals of all time

---

6. Shakespeare in love

Image source: Tumblr

• Rent a palace
• Hire some actors from the drama faculty
• Pay them to pose as slaves
• Address them as “My slave”
• Bring her ‘home’
• Speak to her in Shakespearean English
• Tell her you are, Someone the 20th
• Ask her to become your lady

7. Bossy much?

Image source: telltalesonline

• Ask her to come to your office
• Randomly interview her
• Call up your secretary and ask her to send in the next applicant
• Ask your girlfriend to wait outside
• After cross-examining two other women come out
• Tell your girlfriend she’s been selected
• Ask her if she accepts the ‘’proposal’!

8. Trending

Image source: Tumblr

• Create an event on Facebook: ‘Proposing Jane’
• Invite all your friends
• Go to your girlfriend’s place
• Start proposing her
• Keep it long
• Keep posting an update about the event every 2 milliseconds
• Click candid pictures of her and post them through the drill
• Be prepared for her to cut you short and say “NO”

9. Will you or will you?

Image source: onairwithryan

• Take her on a boat ride
• Propose to her but quickly add the condition that if she says no you will jump out of the boat
• Give her examples of how you could kill yourself
• Once she says yes, jump still
• Swim all the way to the shore and run, crying ‘Eureka, Eureka!’  😉

10. In a flash mob

Image source: Tumblr

• Find the worst dancers in your college
• ‘Un’train them if need be
• Pick her favorite song, so that ruining it is easier
• Keep it 15 minutes long
• Don’t propose at the end of the song!

‘Saanp bhi mar jaye, aur laathi bhi na toote!’ 😉

Now go prepare- the dreaded Proposal day isn’t far off!

Featured image source: in2themild