Breaking up before Valentine’s Day? Who would want to be a prick like that? But you just have to do it because she is expecting you to pop the big question on Proposal day? Is there a way out?

Hell, there is!

What if she says “no” to you instead…?

Pick your poison from the ones below depending on the difficulty level you are willing to put up with! Remember, this is a desperate situation, bro!

1. The alien invasion

Image source: Giphy

• Vanish from her life
• Avoid her calls and messages
• Become invisible to everyone by going on hibernation
• Turn up at her door on Proposal Day
• Tell her you were abducted by a UFO but you fought your way back to earth
• For her
• Now pop the question!
• And before she can say anything, get some friends to pose as aliens and take you again!

2. Momma’s boy!  

Image source: itimes

• Invite her over for a date
• Send your mom instead
• Ask her to do the talking because you are shy!

3. Blast from the past  

Image source: Giphy

• Photoshop some of your pictures to make it look like it’s from the 60s
• Kill two people
• Conduct plastic surgery on them to make them look like the two of you
• Ask her to meet you at the morgue
• Narrate a Bollywood previous birth crap script. Only replace the names of the characters with your names
• Tell her you both are meant to be
• Pop the question!

4. Elementary, Watson!

Image source: Tumblr

• Become an obsessive compulsive Sherlock fan
• Make a note of some of his deductions
• Apply it on random people
• Become a self-proclaimed highly-functional sociopath
• She will run away before you ask her the question!

5. The love drug

Image source: wifflegif

• Send her to prison
• Turn up to bail her out
• Pay the policemen beforehand so that they really respect you
• When she looks amused at why the cops were so friendly, tell her that you were a regular visitor before
• She’s still confused?
• Tell her about your drug dealing history
• Assure her you are clean now
• Propose the next day, if she’s around.

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Suggested read: The 12 worst marriage proposals of all time

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6. Shakespeare in love

Image source: Tumblr

• Rent a palace
• Hire some actors from the drama faculty
• Pay them to pose as slaves
• Address them as “My slave”
• Bring her ‘home’
• Speak to her in Shakespearean English
• Tell her you are, Someone the 20th
• Ask her to become your lady

7. Bossy much?

Image source: telltalesonline

• Ask her to come to your office
• Randomly interview her
• Call up your secretary and ask her to send in the next applicant
• Ask your girlfriend to wait outside
• After cross-examining two other women come out
• Tell your girlfriend she’s been selected
• Ask her if she accepts the ‘’proposal’!

8. Trending

Image source: Tumblr

• Create an event on Facebook: ‘Proposing Jane’
• Invite all your friends
• Go to your girlfriend’s place
• Start proposing her
• Keep it long
• Keep posting an update about the event every 2 milliseconds
• Click candid pictures of her and post them through the drill
• Be prepared for her to cut you short and say “NO”

9. Will you or will you?

Image source: onairwithryan

• Take her on a boat ride
• Propose to her but quickly add the condition that if she says no you will jump out of the boat
• Give her examples of how you could kill yourself
• Once she says yes, jump still
• Swim all the way to the shore and run, crying ‘Eureka, Eureka!’  

10. In a flash mob

Image source: Tumblr

• Find the worst dancers in your college
• ‘Un’train them if need be
• Pick her favorite song, so that ruining it is easier
• Keep it 15 minutes long
• Don’t propose at the end of the song!

‘Saanp bhi mar jaye, aur laathi bhi na toote!’

Now go prepare- the dreaded Proposal day isn’t far off!

Featured image source: in2themild