You’re thinking over whether you’ve made the right decision to call it quits, aren’t you? We get it! You’ve invested your heart, soul, time, and energy into this relationship, and you didn’t quite picture things turning out to be the way that they did. Nobody dates with this kind of expectation in mind. Everyone wants their current or next partner to be ‘the one’. You’re not the only one struggling with all these feelings in your mind about whether or not you’re going to be fine without your supposedly better half. Trust us, there are thousands of people at this very minute feeling the same way that you’re feeling.
You know it in your heart that this relationship isn’t working out for you, but there are still clouds of doubt that are making you feel miserable. While they don’t make you want to change your decision, they’re still bothering you more than you’d like to accept. Know that it happens to the best of us.
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You know your life best, and when to call it quits in a relationship is completely your decision. This article isn’t about making you change your decision; it’s only to help you clear your head and get a better perspective when you are going through that process. We’re aiming to help you clear your doubts and be at peace with yourself again! So, without further ado, here are ten common doubts that will cross your mind when you decide to call it quits.
1. Will I be able to love again?
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When you’re just out of a very long and serious relationship, you often wonder whether you’ll ever be able to love somebody the same way again. You’ve invested so much time and energy to make your relationship grow and you weren’t aware of just how involved you became over time. Detaching from someone and getting attached again to somebody else isn’t easy, but like everything else, this is a process that you have to be patient with. No matter how hard it may seem, know that everyone is capable of loving another person. You just need to heal before jumping into something else too soon.
2. Is there something wrong with me?
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You don’t seem to be happy in your relationships over the years and you’ve always been the one to pull the plug. This makes you wonder whether it’s something about you that keeps your relationships from lasting. As much as you want to call it quits in this relationship, you’re not sure if the problem lies with you or your partner. When things haven’t worked out in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re at fault. But if you’re sure that there’s something about you that you need to work on, by all means carry on and fix what needs to be fixed.
3. Am I too demanding?
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Do you feel that probably you expected too much out of your partner and your relationship? A lot of relationships aren’t successful because either or both partners have unrealistic expectations from each other. No one can answer this question except you. You know yourself the best and if this is on your mind, you should sit down and think whether you’ve suffocated your relationships by being too demanding.
4. Will I find someone better?
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You’re not sure whether you will find someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are. You want to be with someone who genuinely values you. Breakups often make you ponder about whether you will find someone who truly deserves you. Don’t think along those lines. Yes, there’s somebody for every one of us who can make us feel complete. But instead of looking for that person to complete you, take this time off and complete your current incomplete self. Don’t make yourself feel worse by thinking that you’re going to die lonely and alone. Be on the lookout for somebody when you’re already whole by yourself.
5. What will people think about me?
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Surely your state of mind is something along these lines: since I’m the one who broke up, I don’t know what his friends and mine will think of me. It doesn’t matter what people think of or talk about your relationship. You know best about what happens in your relationship, not them. Don’t get bothered by what people say. It’s your life, so live it according to your preferences instead of getting worked up over other people’s opinions.
Suggested read: Things you MUST consider when dating someone going through a divorce
6. Will I lose out on people?
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Will his friends ever talk to me again? Usually when you have mutual friends with your partner, it gets difficult for friends to pick sides. Don’t make them. Your relationship is to be discussed between you and your partner, so don’t drag your friends into it. Will you lose out on people just because you decided to end a relationship which wasn’t working for you? Yes, probably! But those aren’t the people you should be worrying about. True friends stick by you, no matter what. And if your common friends can’t stand by you, don’t give them a hard time! Just give the situation time to settle back down.
7. Do I still have feelings for them?
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Even though you know you want to call it quits, you’re still wondering whether you have any feelings left for your partner. Feelings don’t disappear overnight and you need to figure out what your priorities are. If you’re breaking up for reasons that are extremely important to you, you will have to deal with missing them no matter how bad it gets. You have to get over it at some point. Don’t make it harder than it has to be!
8. Should you be on talking terms with them?
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Even though you’re not dating, you may want to be in touch with your partner, but they may not necessarily want that. Respect their feelings, no matter how much you want them around. Give your partner some space and know that they will talk to you when they are ready. Also, it may just work in your best interest if your partner chooses to not talk to you when you’ve broken up because they have not been nice to you. Do you ever want to completely get over them? If it’s yes, then cut off all contact and get done with it!
9. Will I be able to manage without them in my life?
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You’ve decided to call it quits for a reason that is strong enough that you’re sticking to it. It is going to be difficult for a while, but know that you’re going to be fine eventually. One day, this will be left way behind in your past. Deal with it by yourself, and when all else fails, you have friends and family to make life easier for you by being there whenever you need them.
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10. Do I need somebody at all times in my life?
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You will feel like you need somebody to complete you and make you feel better on days when you’re not feeling well. However, don’t always rely on somebody else to make your day better. Many times, that should be your responsibility, and you should be mature enough to realize when those times are. Need someone for the right reasons, instead of trying to find someone to constantly depend on. That way, you’ll avoid entering a relationship for the wrong reasons and will thus hopefully avoid another heartbreak. Try not to depend on somebody so much that you can’t survive without them. Rely on yourself, because you’re the only constant you have!
Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
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