Before we talk about the rules of a casual relationship, you need to know if you are in one in the first place! So, a casual relationship, basically, means a partnership where there are no long term commitments towards each other. The people involved believe in ‘loving’ for the moment before someone better drops by! To put it bluntly, a casual sex relationship is a vent to satiate sexual desires without rules of a regular romance! To most people, a casual relationship seems blasphemous or plainly wrong, but in real life, many people do involve in this kind of a bond, knowingly or unknowingly! While some say it is a biological thing, I would prefer calling it social. The idea of a no strings attached relationship is just so liberating! But it has some rules that mustn’t be broken if you don’t want to end the fun, let alone ending it bitterly.
Here are ten of them!
Suggested read: 7 reasons why casual hookups leave you emotionally drained
1. No strings attached, mind you!
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The thumb rule of any casual sex relationship is to “never get attached.” If you are in a no strings attached relationship, I am sure you have already read between the lines. You probably know it by now that over a period of time you will start caring for your partner and will worry about their well-being. Be honest with them and more so, with yourself about your feelings. But remember that the other has the freedom to move in and out of the relationship if they want. They might someday start dating someone else. You are not allowed to be broken-hearted! So, let me get straight to the point in the beginning itself, if you fear getting hurt, DO NOT get into a casual sex relationship.
2. No room for jealousy!
You have no right to poke your nose into their relationship scene with other people. If they are dating someone, it in none of your business. So I hope you don’t expect a long explanation from them when you ask them about the person that they are ‘dating’. They will, most certainly, just ignore it or end it with you immediately. You are NOT their significant other and, surely, NOT their lover! You both are sleeping partners, plain and simple. Their love life is not something you need to worry about as they and you are not an item. Contrarily, they too cannot question you about the person you might want to date while still sleeping with them. Remember, you always have a choice to end a casual sex relationship.
3. No favors, please!
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In a casual relationship, you are not supposed to ask them for even petty favors. They are your partner, remember? So no “Can you get me some grocery on your way home?” “Can you see me now, I feel sad?!” Not even a text asking for a pint of ice cream! A booty call is not going to do this for you. If this is what you are looking for, a stable relationship is what would suit you, not a casual one. You might occasionally get a bottle of wine from them, but only if they feel like having some before the action between the sheets!
4. Keep your emotions at bay!
It is very easy to think that you are falling for your partner, I mean, casual partner. If you are certain that you are actually in love, we suggest you avoid them for some weeks and you will know if you miss them or not. If you can easily move on and don’t feel any need to keep them in your life for motives beyond casual sex, we say, you are only experiencing a mild case of infatuation!
A no strings attached relationship is all about sex. I am sorry for being blunt, but that is what it is. Talking about your feelings is a no-no! You cannot have meaningful conversations or intimate evenings. You cannot expect them to lend you a shoulder to lean on when you feel down. This a rule that cannot be broken!
5. Manipulation is out of the question!
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Don’t allow them to control you. Though this is a rule for any healthy relationship, it becomes a pre-requisite when talking about a casual sex relationship! Almost always, one person tries to gain control over the other, and the dominant one chooses when to hook up and when to ignore each other.
If you see any signs of your partner seeking power over you and you don’t feel bad about it, chances are, you are head over heels in love with them and that is disastrous for a casual sex relationship! Walk away and protect your heart from breaking, before it’s too late.
Suggested read: 10 essential dos and don’ts of a no strings attached relationship
6. Don’t see the other often
This goes back to our feelings rule but is more intricately discussed. It is very difficult to be emotionally numb towards a person you sleep with, a person who has seen you in your most vulnerable state. But when you start making a list of what you and your partner have in common, in addition to awesome sex, you are only making things difficult for yourself. Never try to make it something more than what it is!
In order to avoid these misplaced, tangled feelings, stop ‘hanging out.’ You are not supposed to be BFFs and then also have a no strings attached relationship. That’s just not possible! You have to take serious precautions to make sure your lives don’t intertwine beyond the physical!
7. Set some ground rules for your casual relationship
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Before you embark on your journey of a casual relationship, you must set some ground rules with your casual partner. Every individual is different, and so every relationship has its own strengths and complexities. It won’t be enough if you stick only to the rules we are jotting down for you. You need to develop your own, making certain that no loopholes are left and both of you are on the same page!
Framing a few basic rules will go a long way in helping you make your causal relationship work. We have a list of questions that you can ask your partner before you sit down to draw up the rules. You need to make sure that the rulebooks are agreeable to both of you. There is no room for selfishness whatsoever!
- Are you okay with dating other people while having a casual relationship with one?
- Can we end it shortly after we meet someone we would want to get serious with?
- How many days a month do you think we should meet? (You need to know what their expectations are and whether they suit you.)
- Will our relationship be a secret?
In case you feel that things are not working between the two of us, will you tell me directly and not hide it from me?
I know, asking these questions feels strange. You may even think that this is a little silly. But just within a month or two into your casual sex relationship and you will wish you had done this exercise to get your answers!
8. Accept the fact that your partner does want a serious relationship, but not with you
This is rude, even harsh, but this is the truth. The faster you accept it, the easier it is for you to enjoy the casual nature of the relationship while it lasts. When people are in a casual relationship, they are just ‘using’ each other for a physical need until somebody better comes along!
So it’s best not to have high hopes from a casual romance. Take it easy. Keeping your options open is your best bet and makes the whole deal enjoyable. Looking for exclusivity in a casual relationship defies the whole point of it!
9. The expiry date
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As soon as you start having feelings for them or think that this is getting way too real for you to handle, let it go! If they begin disrespecting you, end it. There’s a huge difference between allowing someone to take advantage of you and being in a casual relationship. Recognize the difference and call it quits as soon as you see the gap diminishing.
Suggested read: 10 surprising truths I learned about a no strings attached relationship
10. Avoid getting trapped!
You cannot afford to get trapped in a casual relationship. That’s a killer! You need to be very wary about this because realizing this becomes very difficult until you cannot help but need to step out of the partnership!
Every time you try to drift away from your friend with benefits and try to end the relationship, do they make attempts to get closer? If you are in a no strings attached relationship with a person who is clingy, you are walking into a trap most gullibly! And if they just pretend to love you as soon as you try to steer clear of them, I beg your pardon, but they are selfish who will demand your attention though they themselves don’t care about you!
Like I said in the beginning itself, all relationships are different. They are structured differently. But yes, the basic truths remain the same. Acknowledge each other but make no attempts to get more than what is offered. Also, treat each other with respect, since this may be a casual sex relationship but certainly not a one-night stand! 
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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