You’ve hit jackpot if you scored either a McDreamy or a McSteamy a la Grey’s Anatomy; frankly, such men aren’t hard to find or get. You’d find them by the dozen. But are physical appearances enough to lead a fulfilling life? What happens when looks fade away and they have nothing else to their personality? I guess you are just left with the person and his qualities. So, he’d better have those good qualities that make him a better man.
Amongst many personality traits, it’s a bonus if your man is a male feminist. You see, you don’t want to be stuck with a kind-hearted chauvinist or a handsome misogynist or a charming sexist. A guy who understands feminism is more likely to treat you with respect and love. He’ll know your worth and encourage you in every step of your life.
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Sometimes, it’s not enough to marry the ‘right’ guy or the ‘good’ guy. Every woman needs a man who, at some point, can help her stand up on her own, give her a lending hand, push her forward, and understand her issues. A man who treats her as an equal, yet understands her shortcomings and appreciates who she is, is all a woman ever needs.
It isn’t hard to distinguish a spoilt fruit from the good ones in a basket; that’s because of the way it looks or the foul smell it emits. Likewise, you can also tell if your man is a downright male chauvinist pig or a male feminist with these clues:
Suggested read: 13 undeniable signs you’re dating a male feminist
1. His encouragement is real
Whether it’s diving classes or kick boxing that’s on your mind, your husband is supportive and encourages you to follow your dreams. He makes all your wishes come true and wants you to follow your passion. So, when you sign up for something that you really want to pursue, he doesn’t stop you or get mad at you. He lets you live your dream even if it means he has to sacrifice a little something from his side. A male feminist will always encourage you like a girlfriend would; he has your back.
2. He celebrates your successes
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Maybe sometimes a little more than you. When you get promoted or get selected at a job interview, and your husband is the happiest, that means you got the right guy! However, it may not just be your success in your career, it could be how you raise the kids, or keep a house clean, or cook a delicious meal. If he appreciates your work, it means he appreciates you and is celebrating you. So if your husband is waiting to pop a champagne bottle for each of your little achievements, then you sure have found yourself a male feminist.
3. You feel free
Whether it’s to speak your mind, wear what you want, go where you like, and speak to whoever you wish to – you don’t feel any sort of restraint. You enjoy freedom in its true sense. A man who is a feminist will never restrict you; he will let you live your life on your terms. He doesn’t try to control you or dominate you. He isn’t a fascist, and you will experience freedom even after you have been married. Basically, nothing changes after you marry him. You still feel like the single girl, but this time living with this amazing guy.
4. He understands you have a mind of your own
You may not agree to everything he says or does, you may always think differently and you will have a different opinion each time. A feminist man will always understand that. He is fine with disagreements and will come halfway to meet you. He knows and lets you be the way you are. He knows very well that he can’t force his opinions on you, and it’s alright for you to agree to disagree. He is reasonable.
Suggested read: 25 male celebrities who rock as feminists
5. He doesn’t undermine you or your decisions
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You have a say in every matter – heck yeah – I said ‘every’! That’s great. It means that your man values your thoughts on any matter, be it something small like what color drapes to put up in the living room or something life-altering like when to have kids and how many. He makes a decision only after consulting you and taking your opinion on it.. He knows you are smart enough to have an opinion which he’d take while making important decisions, whether or not it affects you directly.
6. Lifts you up when you are down
If your man is someone you run to when you have an emotional breakdown, then you sure as heck married a feminist guy! Because unlike an MCP, his first response to your sadness is not ‘keep your problems/sob stories to yourself’. He will make time to listen to you, empathize with you, and even offers a solution too. So, in your weakest moment, when you feel down in the dumps, he will be the one that holds your hand and helps you get up on your feet. He is also the one who will give you the push you need to face your problems and tackle them head on.
7. There is no imposition, whatsoever
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If you like it, then good. If you don’t, he won’t force anything on you, not even his opinions. A feminist man understands your boundaries and will never impose himself on you in any manner. He lets you be, he doesn’t impose his ideas, beliefs or anything else on you. While he will speak his mind, he doesn’t expect you to follow through ALL the time.
8. He opens up about his problems
Because a male feminist considers you an equal, a true partner, he easily opens up to you about any issues he faces. He finds it easy to talk to you and feels comfortable in doing so. He isn’t like the one who keeps his ‘manly’ problems to himself and thinks he is weak if he shares it with his wife. Although he does have his bros, matters that are intimate to him and mean something to him will be discussed with you. He lets out his true feelings in front of you; he’s unafraid of being vulnerable in front you, and isn’t ashamed to show his emotions.
9. Helps you with the ‘girlie’ tasks too
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No task is purely feminine for him. In time of need, he will get down to changing nappies, doing the dishes, and also painting your toenails! He wants to be of help and will do anything to help you out. He truly believes in sharing the load.
Suggested reaad: 10 cringe-worthy clues your man is a male chauvinist pig
10. Treats all women with respect
Amongst the many things he does, one thing he doesn’t do is make sexist remarks about women. He doesn’t share jokes that objectify women on social media, and moreover, treats all women around him with dignity and respect just because. So, he is never someone who yells at or hurts a woman. He knows how to treat them right, and the only way to do it is with utmost care and respect.
While it’s rare to find MCPs these days, it’s also not very easy to find a feminist man. If you’ve finally found out that your husband is a male feminist, we recommend that you hold onto him, treasure him, and value him. Sometimes, we women get too busy being hardcore feminists and ignoring the little good that men have which ultimately makes us sexist too. We generalize men, which is incorrect on many levels. We don’t give them enough credit and are too patronizing at times. So, we women need to work at maintaining this breed which is a rare find.
The next time your man does something for you, take a minute to appreciate him, hold his hand, and tell him you love him. Tell him that you find these qualities of his very attractive and are lucky to have him. Sometimes, it’s important to shower your man with some love and pampering. Make him feel like a million bucks!
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